I met a future teacher...

And he actually wanted to interview me. When I was in high school, I was all punky and a Madonna wanna-be (it was the 80s so forgive me). I think it is awesome when a *kid* (and I have to use this term loosely since he sounds more mature than me) knows what he wants to do when he gets through with school. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

So, head over to see Jason and give him some bloggy love. Feel free to make fun of my responses. For the most part, I was in serious educator mode - although I find it difficult to be serious for very long.

All my love,

Beth

Dying Eggs 101

Before our spring break, I was in one of the first grade classrooms when a little boy brought his journal to me to read. While it was a great writing sample and I was instantly jealous because I don't remember being able to write that much when I was in first grade, I was more intrigued by the words that had been erased.


The assignment was to write about how you dye eggs. This student wanted to be sure that the eggs had, in fact, died first. Probably not a bad plan.



The teacher this student has is an excellent teacher despite the fact she lacks a sense of humor and had Mr. Kill the Eggs make the appropriate corrections.



I loved the corrections! In my book, he gets extra points for creativity.

This just makes me consider the possibilities

On my last day of school before we got our get out of jail free card got out for spring break, I noticed this rule in our handbook.



Somehow, I have a hunch if a student actually did commit a homicide, the 10 day suspension and possible expulsion would be the least of their worries. But good to know they have this base covered.

Happy Passover and/or Easter to ya'll.

And sometimes blog fodder just falls right into your lap

Last night, two of my students, Jane and Tarzan, spent the night with us. They belong to my friend who has stage 4 ovarian cancer. She has an early, early doctor appointment in another town.

It has been interesting having the TV on the Disney channel again. Who the heck are the Wiggles?

This morning as I was picking out clothes for the adventures we are having today, this was the conversation that took place.

Jane: "We have some of those Canine Carryouts, too."

Me: "Yeah? Is that a toy?"

Jane: "Noooo. They are dog treats. You have some on the counter for your dog."

Me: "Oh. I didn't realize they were called that."

Jane: "Well, ours are exactly like yours. Except ours are bacon flavored."

Tarzan (playing on the computer): "They are delicious!"

Me (looking at Jane for clarification because surely he only heard the bacon part of this conversation): "Huh?"

Jane (nodding her head): "Yeah. He eats them. About three a day."

It is going to be an AWESOME day!

A letter to my husband

Dear Mr. Strong,

Let me apologize for being so grumpy with you this morning. While I appreciate your efforts in emptying the dishwasher, your Dishwasher Lesson 101 did anger me. You pointed out that the placement of this one ridiculous coffee cup basically caused the rest of the dishes to have spots. I instantly became defensive much like you do when your artist friend who still has shag carpet from the 1970s gives you decorating advice.

Had I tried to use the weed whacker or the foliage rocket (credit given to Ann for that term), I would completely understand your need and desire to lecture me on the proper uses.

Since this is my blog, I'd like to point out a few things you may have missed because I probably have control issues.

Take note of the location of the coffee cup.

According to you, this little cup stopped all the water from being sprayed upwards in the appropriate manner because it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that our dishwasher is probably approaching it's second decade otherwise known as the sucky years (in dishwasher years, that is). This cup was the bird to your airplane engine, the match to your forest fire.

I'd like to point out where I think the water spray comes from. And I don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure these little arms are a-spinning when the dishwasher is trying to wash washing.



Also, let us take a moment to gander at the tubing. In my imagination, that tubing should be clear and not clogged with chunks of debris much like cholesterol clogs arteries. By all appearances, Dexter the Dishwasher could be having a stroke at any moment. I'm no doctor (or mechanic) and I could be totally wrong damnit! but it may be time to start thinking about a new dishwasher.

Regardless, let us just stick to what works for us. You cook. I clean. And don't even think about discussing anything about how I do the laundry because I'm afraid I may have a black out rage attack and you could be hurt.

And while I've got your attention, I do appreciate that you are cooking for some of our friends who had to move out of their flooded house. Your sense of humor is always appreciated by me. I hope they knew you were kidding with the first dish.

This is really Chicken Fried Rice not Chicken Tar Tar Fried Rice.

It was hard to give them this container because I wanted to keep it and hold it and eat it all by myself.

This was the best Pad Thai stuff I've ever had!


All my love,


P.S. The cable just came back on! It is a Passover miracle!

P.P.S. How could you?! You told Single Guy about my blog. With him living in our apartment, he is going to be GREAT blog fodder. You've got to fix this. Lie. Make up something. But don't tell Single Guy that I am making fun writing about him.

If you read it on a blog, it is true. Right?

Yesterday, my husband and I went to help tear up move the rest of our friend's stuff. We'll refer to him as Single Guy. While he is a great friend, trust me when I say there is a reason he is in his mid-40s and still single.

As we walked through the small pond that is his front yard (and yay for being able to drive into the driveway), I noticed this worm in the water!

Holy Schnike! Could this be one of those burrowing worms that my friend Michel from Facts are Strictly Optional warned me about? Michel is in Sudan (you know, that country in Africa) and not only is she fighting to avoid Lassa Fever there are worms that will burrow in your skin as you walk on the dirt roads.

Seriously, go read what Michel is up to these days. If she doesn't make you laugh then I'll refund your money because seriously you must need it for the therapy you are skipping out on. She is THAT funny!

As I was trying to figure out what to do with the six seven eight nine remote controls and the friggin equipment that went with them, the guys were ripping out the floor so the sub floor beneath could begin to mold and rot dry. All of a sudden I heard Single Guy say, "I got it. I killed it."

Being one with a bit of a fascination with morbidity, I just had to take a look. It was a snake! A dead as a doornail snake! (By the way, if you Google "dead as a doornail snake" images, the first image is a sign for a paying toilet. Can someone explain that for me?!)



The dead snake reminded me of a story my friend Jane from Gaston Studios told us about recently. Did you know snakes are still poisonous even after they are dead?! Bet ya didn't know that but you should have because poisonous snakes are godless killing machines (thanks for that phrase, Michel. It has come in handy lately. So go check Jane out. She is just full of important facts like that.

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This is my Tuesday Tribute to honor two awesome bloggers. There are many, many awesome bloggers out there and I wish I could recognize them all here but relax! There are a lot more Tuesdays remaining in this year.

A Jay and Deb Production.

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A quick note to say thanks to all who expressed concern about our flood (apparently God is smoting us as Michel pointed out earlier). While the cable hasn't yet returned and we've had to succumb to playing Trivial Pursuit, the water is now receding and the town is beginning the drying out process.

Should I be looking for pairs of animals?

The area I live in may or may not have been on the national news. We wouldn't be able to tell since the cable has been out for days now due to the rain and the resulting floods in our area. Mr. Strong and I have had to get used to the lack of background noise. We've actually had to talk.

And the word is that the cable won't be restored for at least another week. Apparently, cable doesn't work well under water.

All over town, roads and bridges are closed. You might want to go right up the street to the grocery store but soon you find out that you are going to have to go around your ass to get to your elbow take a different route.

The water is so high in some of the drivable areas, you can barely see the tops of the utility poles. It is hard to imagine what the water is like in the areas where the roads and bridges are closed.

And still the rain is expected to fall. We've never had a flood to this degree in our town. Last night, some friends of ours told us that people were hanging out in lawn chairs at a particular cemetery. The flood waters had reached the burial grounds and they were waiting for the caskets to float up to the surface. How sad it would be to have your loved ones float down the river.

We took a drive to the cemetery. I just had to know that my father's grave site was not under water. It wasn't. Although, I'm not sure what I would have done if it was.




We'd been going by one of our friend's house for the past couple of days to check on him. The backyard had slowly been claimed by the river. When we went today, our hearts sank. You can't even get into the driveway enough to see the house unless you use the canoe.

Surprisingly, I was moved to tears. I've always felt bad for the displaced natural disaster victims I've seen on the news but it just struck a chord for it to be someone I know who lives just a few blocks from me.




The house has been in this cool ravine for 40 years and never experienced a flood. Now, there is about 10 inches of water inside the house. The river is expected to rise 12 to 24 more inches. And there is still the rain that keeps coming and going. There are some houses in the area that are basically completely submerged.

At least we have an apartment in our backyard that is currently being used for storage. It'll make a great home for our friend while he renovates his house.




I guess this means the drought is over.