Tuesday, April 7, 2009

If you read it on a blog, it is true. Right?

Yesterday, my husband and I went to help tear up move the rest of our friend's stuff. We'll refer to him as Single Guy. While he is a great friend, trust me when I say there is a reason he is in his mid-40s and still single.

As we walked through the small pond that is his front yard (and yay for being able to drive into the driveway), I noticed this worm in the water!

Holy Schnike! Could this be one of those burrowing worms that my friend Michel from Facts are Strictly Optional warned me about? Michel is in Sudan (you know, that country in Africa) and not only is she fighting to avoid Lassa Fever there are worms that will burrow in your skin as you walk on the dirt roads.

Seriously, go read what Michel is up to these days. If she doesn't make you laugh then I'll refund your money because seriously you must need it for the therapy you are skipping out on. She is THAT funny!

As I was trying to figure out what to do with the six seven eight nine remote controls and the friggin equipment that went with them, the guys were ripping out the floor so the sub floor beneath could begin to mold and rot dry. All of a sudden I heard Single Guy say, "I got it. I killed it."

Being one with a bit of a fascination with morbidity, I just had to take a look. It was a snake! A dead as a doornail snake! (By the way, if you Google "dead as a doornail snake" images, the first image is a sign for a paying toilet. Can someone explain that for me?!)

The dead snake reminded me of a story my friend Jane from Gaston Studios told us about recently. Did you know snakes are still poisonous even after they are dead?! Bet ya didn't know that but you should have because poisonous snakes are godless killing machines (thanks for that phrase, Michel. It has come in handy lately. So go check Jane out. She is just full of important facts like that.

This is my Tuesday Tribute to honor two awesome bloggers. There are many, many awesome bloggers out there and I wish I could recognize them all here but relax! There are a lot more Tuesdays remaining in this year.

Tuesday's Tribute
A Jay and Deb Production.


A quick note to say thanks to all who expressed concern about our flood (apparently God is smoting us as Michel pointed out earlier). While the cable hasn't yet returned and we've had to succumb to playing Trivial Pursuit, the water is now receding and the town is beginning the drying out process.


Unknown said...

Thank you so much Beth, for putting me in the same category as Michel (who totally makes me laugh out loud!) in your Tuesday Tribute!

As for more important matters.... Eweeeeewe, a burrowing worm and a godless killing machine all in one afternoon!

Thanks goodness the waters have stopped rising and you can get Single Guy settled into your apartment (have you given this due consideration!). Hope the rest of the town will be as generous with their neighbors as you guys.

BTW, if you google 'dead as a doornail snake' your BLOG comes up at the top of the list!

Thanks again!!!!!

Hit 40 said...

I am impressed that you still have internet access. Are you using a cell phone plug in? I like your post today. I am guessing you are a little afraid of slimy crawlers? I am the official killer of all bugs and crawlers in my house. BRING IT ON!!! I have a post about all those toilet training bloggers today. I will put it up right now. Very funny. And shoot - I see a spider now crawling up the wall. Must kill.

Beth said...

Gaston Studios (AKA Jane) - But I love reading your stories. And you get my humor (which is probably scary come to think of it). Do that Google search again but under Google images. It is bizarre!

Hit40 - Our internet has worked most of the time because the service is with our phone company. The phone company is obviously smarter than the cable company because they built on higher ground. And as for the snakes and worms, I actually am not afraid of them. Bug, on the other hand, make me scream like a little girl.

darsden said...

poor snake just came out of hibernation for his first meal...dang! Pop got one those here last week too, trying to get a frog in the koi pond! He was able to save our big old frog! I cannot stand snakes or spiders but, I can't kill them I just shoo them away ;-)

Jan said...

Worms and snakes and doornails, oh my!

Hopping over to your tributed blogs, so I can do some smoting myself. :P

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

You guys with the snakes and worms and things freak me out. Please write about something less squeamish for us scaredy cats.
P.S. I'm Jane's (Gaston Studio) daughter.

Laura said...

I guess that is why they tell you not to get in flooded water - eeks on the snake, but the worm is pretty nasty too! Glad to hear the water is leaving.

Michele said...

EWWWWWWW...I absolutely hate snacks. I bate my own fishing hooks with worms and minnows, but you can bet your boots, I will NEVER touch a snake. Hope your cable turns on soon...although, I would be in heaven if there were no TV at my house...well, except for Idol and Dancing..and Hell's Kitchen...lol


LTYM said...

You are hilarious. Worms and snakes and remotes, oh my!

Michel said...

WOW! Thank you! that was nice...however, now I'm all ascared to write anything because there is simply too much pressure. I was previously devoting most of my waking hours to winning the blog commenter contests - now I'm going to have to defraud the USG and smuggle in my laptop to continue my efforts.

And OMG...that was hideous! I think I told you this before: YOU NEED TO MOVE.

First the snakes (and frankly, worms are just snake-wannabe's...they'd kill you if they could), next the locusts -- and that water looked pinkish to me.

Smoted. Better you than me. I gots me some creepy shit here. I can't risk it. I likes me better!!

Christine Gram said...

GAG!!! Grossest Tuesday post so far! You win. No more moving single 40 year olds.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Ewwww, that snake kind of looked like that worm. Either one of them would have sent me screaming like a girl! : )

cheatymoon said...

Hope the water isn't too much of a hassle. Off to check out blogs. Thanks for the tips on some new blog reading...

Crazy Charm said...

Ew .. That creepy crawly business is not for me. You're a good friend to help out though! :)

Beth said...

darsden - I actually like snakes. But not in my house. Shooing them away is a good plan.

Jan - You weren't disappointed, were you?

Dee-Zigns - I love your mother! She is such an encourager!

Laura - I think they are more worried about the raw sewage than the snakes. I'd rather deal with a snack than stranger poo.

Michele - Trust me when I say that worms are yuckier than snakes. Snakes really aren't slimy.

Wendy - Single Guy has more remotes than my husband. But that is another blog post for another day.

Michel - With Passover coming up, maybe I'll just paint the doors of my home with a sacrifice. I don't want to move!

Christine - Glad to have the opportunity to meet you. Sorry to gross you out. You should have heard the stories I could tell when my children were still in diapers.

Sarah - I grew up spending summers on my grandparent's farm. There was no screaming allowed (a rule from my grandmother). So, I guess they toughened me up a bit. But put me in the same room with a mouse or a roach. I can't supress the scream.

only a movie - Erin, the water is finally going down in most areas. There are still some other rivers rising that are threatening to close some major interstates. It could have been worse. A house is a house and can't replace a life.

Crazy Charm - Single Guy has been a friend of mine for longer than I've known my husband. We actually used to hate each other before we realized we had some things in common. He is a good guy and I know he'd do the same for us (but hopefully we'd never need the help).

Alisha said...

What a great tribute. Thank you also for the pictures. lol. Who knew that snakes had so little blood?!? Checking out those blogs now

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I love Michel and Jane too. And am I the only one who was surprised that snakes bleed red? I thought it would be green slime or some such goop. I cut off one's nose while gardening once and you couldn't shut me up about how it had red blood. Well, after they woke me with the smelling salts that is.

Pseudo said...

Worms AND snakes. Hm.

Lisa said...

Oh man that gave me the willies! I don't like snakes at all! shake it off, shake it off... whew, it's ok, I'm alright now.

Sassy Pants said...

GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!! I'm going to have nightmares.

Halftime Lessons said...

Great tribute! And thanks endlessly for making my skin crawl and the bile rise right after lunch.



Beth said...

Alisha - I really hadn't thought of snakes not having much blood. Now that I think of it, it doesn't take much for them to bleed out (loss of head aside).

Smart Mouth Broad - Hmmmmm... I've never thought about snakes bleeding a different color. Sounds like a blog post you could write about.

Pseudo - I aim to please.

Yeah I'm Still Here - But I do LOVE that snakes eat mice. Sorry to scare. We have a lot of snakes in south Georgia. This one was really just a little thing.

Sassy Pants - I recommend drinking a strong drink tonight. It will either get rid of the nightmares or make them more colorful.

Halftime Lessons - At your service. Made you step away from the dessert, didn't it?

nikkicrumpet said...

Ugh...I work 6 days in a row and ungodly hours at that...and look what I miss! I didn't know about your flood...I'm so sorry that it got you. I'm glad the snake didn't! Great post...I swear you get funnier every week...hmmmm are you taking roids????

Shangrila said...

What a great tribute to your bloggy pals! That picture of the broken snake just about broke my heart (the worm, not-so-much!)