Today, Mrs. Wears PJs to School went to her daughter's classroom before checking her out of school. While there, this is the conversation that ensued.Mrs. Wears PJs to School (with a thick, thick southern accent): "I only have seventy-five cents on me and I'm not sure that I have enough gas to get me home."
Mrs. Sweet Kindergarten Teacher: "Well, I'll give you some money. Here. I have $6 on me." (Note to self: $6! It is just past the middle of the month. Mrs. Sweet Kindergarten Teacher must be married to someone with money if she still has $6 to her name.)
Mrs. Wears PJs to School: "Aww. Thanks. I think I only need $2. I'll pay you back when I can. Well, I guess you heard about my husband."
Mrs. Sweet Kindergarten Teacher: "I didn't hear about your husband. Is he okay?"
Mrs. Wears PJs to School: "Well, no. He has a penile fracture." (What the hell!? How do you fracture the penis? Wait. Don't answer that question.) {She pronounced penile "peee-niiiile." Try it out for the effect.}
Mrs. Sweet Kindergarten Teacher (suddenly blushing and becoming very interested in her clipboard): "Oh. That must be hard." (I swear. Of all the things to come out of her mouth.)
Mrs. Wears PJs to School: "Yup! He hit it on my pelvis bone. You should tell your husband about this. My husband says it really hurts." (Ewwww! I did NOT need the visual. This is not a ummmm... good looking woman.)
Mrs. Sweet Kindergarten Teacher (trying desperately to disappear): "I hope everything is okay. Here is your daughter's backpack."
Mrs. Wears PJs to School: "You know, my husband is going to be soooo embarrassed. He hates when I borrow money from any body." (OMG! So is that what embarrasses him? And does he know you have verbal diarrhea?)
That, ladies and gentlemen, just may be the story of the year!
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