Lucky in something

On my resume, I have the privilege of listing that I am the district president of a state elementary principal association. Before you get all excited and start congratulating me, please realize there are only two members in my district - me and my assistant principal who was coerced into joining in hopes of a favorable evaluation.

For some reason, I joined this association last summer. Almost immediately, some powers that be began calling about the president position. I was all excited and ready to campaign until they explained only current members in the district can vote. And since there was only me and no one else to vote for, I got to add *President* to my laundry list of duties.

After listing my responsibilities which really was just to get members, I decided to take a decidedly Obama-like approach and host a meet and greet. I was even willing to kiss babies. And since people will come to a meeting when food is served, I contacted a sponsor who paid for lunch to be brought in. And I had about 30 people suckered present who pretended to listen to my presentation about this wonderful association and how they've helped me over the past couple of months and now I am SO much more professional and I even look smarter and more principally. You get the point. I laid it on thick. And how many members signed up? Just one. My own assistant principal. I am good, eh?

So, yesterday I attended a district meeting over in the other district. They were kind enough to invite me to attend and I decided to go to see what I was doing wrong so I drove way out into parts of Georgia I've never seen.

The meeting was held in a little town not even listed on a map. My husband pulled out his GPS device - from here on out referred to as "Bitching Betty" - and I plugged in the address and followed her instructions. I turned down many, many random highways with some number on the end. There were no cute names for the roads, just numbers. The roads weaved and curved for no reason other than for the fun of it. It is nice to know our Georgia founders had a sense of humor about them when planning out the roads. That or they were active participants in local moonshine drinking competitions.

And all was well with the world and Bitching Betty was pleased with my ability to follow her asinine directions until I came upon a terrible accident involving a semi-truck and an SUV. Nothing will bring the neighbors out of the woods like a BIG accident. Instead of clearly marking a detour for directional cripples or letting me just sit and gawk I was forced into turning around.

This did not please Bitching Betty as I could hear the frustration in her voice when she had to recalculate. And because apparently, she sits to the left of God, she decided to pay me back for not following her directions by sending me down some dirt roads and through a trailer park. All while needing to go potty (me, not Betty)(and you try driving down a bumpy road while holding it).

As luck would have it, I ended up right back at the accident. And the helpful citizen who made me turn around fifteen minutes earlier was not humored. Neither was Bitching Betty.

As luck would have it, I finally found the school where the meeting was being held. You would have thought Bitching Betty deserved a medal she was so excited.

It was an interesting town - the kind of town that looks like it would be full of grandmas. There was no traffic light or even a bank. The only signs of progress were the random trailers tucked between the little old-timey grandma houses. And their main industry appeared to be a taxidermy shop and deer processing plant. How nice. I'm sure I'll fit right in with these folks (seriously, they were nice).

Now I really don't know what I am doing wrong because I couldn't help but to compare meetings. My meeting was much more organized. And the food I had brought in was a full-fledged barbecue dinner. These guys brought in Chic-Fil-A boxed lunches. The barbecue alone should have gotten a couple of members.

After the meeting, I apologized to Bitching Betty. In return, she got me the hell out of there home.

Because I had way too much energy after sitting on my badonkadonk all day, I decided to do something productive. So I chose to contend with the weeds. Namely, the clover. Which made me feel a little guilty because it is getting ready to flower.



And for the first time in my life, I found a four leafed clover! On St. Patrick's Day! Actually, I found NINE four leafed clovers. They are currently being pressed for prosperity. How lucky is that (for me, not the clover)!





By the way, I bought some lottery tickets, too. If I win, I'll share.

Now I just wish I could get some of this luck to pour over into the principal association. Besides, I want to have more members than the neighboring group in Podunkville. I am a poor loser.

What's up with the lack of members?




Come join the fun with Three Boys One Mommy! She is way funnier than me. And she'd probably have a lot of principally members for her group.