Directionality

Directionality is a funny thing. For one it has a couple of definitions that come to mind. One deals with the idea of focusing the direction of your life, your business, and/or your projects (not Websters definition so don't hold me accountable for getting it wrong). This type of directionality deals with setting goals. For the *experts* out there, we should all figure out the direction we want life to take, set goals, and work to meet those goals. For many, that may be exactly what needs to happen otherwise they might waste their life away on the sofa watching VH-1 reality tv shows. In my opinion, it is difficult to imagine anyone being able to be an expert of some one's life besides their own but that is going into deep, uncharted territory and we are backing the hell out. Besides, I'm not a goal setter which probably explains how I ended up in administration in the first place.

The other definition of directionality (in my mind) has to do with locating sound. And for the record, I can NOT locate the source of sound which I am sure helps my image of being a complete doofus since there are multiple microphones on each of my hearing aids. I now spin like a record when ever I hear any noises. No wonder I'm always dizzy. People would be better off just waving their arms wildly if they need to get my attention.

But I'm not hear here to talk about my hearing issues because really it is only an issue for the person who wants to be heard as I'm quite content with the voices in my hear that I hear so clearly.

Its about my blog. When I first started blogging, I had no sense of direction. Basically, the G-P-S was turned off and we were navigating by the A-S-S (that would be me). My very first blog post was rather lame and I expected no fanfare for the ridiculousness that I was sending out into the blogosphere. But I got a comment from Vodka Mom. And she became a follower.

She probably has no idea what she did for my blog-o-confidence that day.

And now, something has happened. And in my imagination, it is something that is a result of a parent or teacher complaint to administration (damn administrators!).

Which scares me. And I've stepped away from the computer for the past few days to ponder the pros and cons, the reasons to oppose and the reasons to support, the should I's or should I nots. Basically, is it worth it?

I've tried to keep my "real girl" identity a secret. I've changed names of the guilty innocent to protect them. And I haven't even told the juicy stories involving ridiculous law suits because if you don't think there are people out there who want a free ride, then I have a spot of the ocean I need to sell you.

While writing this blog, I've found a voice I didn't know I had. And I've found friends I never dreamed I'd have. My husband and I are closer and talk about more and more things (he is, by the way, my biggest commentor on this blog - he just rarely puts it in writing). I've come to grips with some emotions regarding my family. For whatever reason, it is easier to be honest in this forum than in my reality.

While I've yet to become a goal setter as it just isn't my nature and why the hell fight nature, I've made the decision to forge on. Besides, Jane at Gaston Studios offered me a spare bedroom in her house and Michel offered to hide me in Sudan, if ever I need. Without a doubt, I'm sure Smart Mouth Broad and her Harley Man would drive that Harley up to beat up rescue me from any crazy parents. And several of my favorite teachers (I wish I had you guys on my staff) are always ready to offer up encouragement and support. Thanks Only a Movie, Pseudononymous High School Teacher, Amy, Jason, and Hit 40. You often validate my feelings. And then there are my friends who cook! Jan and Follow that Dog, you remind me to be thankful for being married to a chef! The Comedy Goddess knows my neck of the woods (and there are a lot of woods down here) and that just makes her even funnier to me! Oh, and Kulio is teaching me to be a bit greener (and I do appreciate that!). And I should be supporting Braja while she is recovering but she is already out supporting others. She is just tough like that. And the list goes on and on.

How could I give up on friends like that?