Sunday, April 26, 2009

Directionality

Directionality is a funny thing. For one it has a couple of definitions that come to mind. One deals with the idea of focusing the direction of your life, your business, and/or your projects (not Websters definition so don't hold me accountable for getting it wrong). This type of directionality deals with setting goals. For the *experts* out there, we should all figure out the direction we want life to take, set goals, and work to meet those goals. For many, that may be exactly what needs to happen otherwise they might waste their life away on the sofa watching VH-1 reality tv shows. In my opinion, it is difficult to imagine anyone being able to be an expert of some one's life besides their own but that is going into deep, uncharted territory and we are backing the hell out. Besides, I'm not a goal setter which probably explains how I ended up in administration in the first place.

The other definition of directionality (in my mind) has to do with locating sound. And for the record, I can NOT locate the source of sound which I am sure helps my image of being a complete doofus since there are multiple microphones on each of my hearing aids. I now spin like a record when ever I hear any noises. No wonder I'm always dizzy. People would be better off just waving their arms wildly if they need to get my attention.

But I'm not hear here to talk about my hearing issues because really it is only an issue for the person who wants to be heard as I'm quite content with the voices in my hear that I hear so clearly.

Its about my blog. When I first started blogging, I had no sense of direction. Basically, the G-P-S was turned off and we were navigating by the A-S-S (that would be me). My very first blog post was rather lame and I expected no fanfare for the ridiculousness that I was sending out into the blogosphere. But I got a comment from Vodka Mom. And she became a follower.

She probably has no idea what she did for my blog-o-confidence that day.

And now, something has happened. And in my imagination, it is something that is a result of a parent or teacher complaint to administration (damn administrators!).

Which scares me. And I've stepped away from the computer for the past few days to ponder the pros and cons, the reasons to oppose and the reasons to support, the should I's or should I nots. Basically, is it worth it?

I've tried to keep my "real girl" identity a secret. I've changed names of the guilty innocent to protect them. And I haven't even told the juicy stories involving ridiculous law suits because if you don't think there are people out there who want a free ride, then I have a spot of the ocean I need to sell you.

While writing this blog, I've found a voice I didn't know I had. And I've found friends I never dreamed I'd have. My husband and I are closer and talk about more and more things (he is, by the way, my biggest commentor on this blog - he just rarely puts it in writing). I've come to grips with some emotions regarding my family. For whatever reason, it is easier to be honest in this forum than in my reality.

While I've yet to become a goal setter as it just isn't my nature and why the hell fight nature, I've made the decision to forge on. Besides, Jane at Gaston Studios offered me a spare bedroom in her house and Michel offered to hide me in Sudan, if ever I need. Without a doubt, I'm sure Smart Mouth Broad and her Harley Man would drive that Harley up to beat up rescue me from any crazy parents. And several of my favorite teachers (I wish I had you guys on my staff) are always ready to offer up encouragement and support. Thanks Only a Movie, Pseudononymous High School Teacher, Amy, Jason, and Hit 40. You often validate my feelings. And then there are my friends who cook! Jan and Follow that Dog, you remind me to be thankful for being married to a chef! The Comedy Goddess knows my neck of the woods (and there are a lot of woods down here) and that just makes her even funnier to me! Oh, and Kulio is teaching me to be a bit greener (and I do appreciate that!). And I should be supporting Braja while she is recovering but she is already out supporting others. She is just tough like that. And the list goes on and on.

How could I give up on friends like that?





36 comments:

Michel said...

DON'T LEAVE!!!! Your post made me a little teary eyed, and I don't actually have any real feelings, and I mean that...from the bottom of my rock.

I understand - and I have to be very very careful not to post ANYTHING about my job, I have to be careful what I say about the host country, and my coworkers (because they read it). But it is still worth it. Blogging makes me happy.

And I can hear from the joy that comes through your posts, that it does you too.

So do whatever you have to do to appease the idiots. But do not leave us. We will miss you!!

Kristina P. said...

I wondered if something happened with her school.

I actually had a work situation come about with my blog recently. I didn't post about it, because that would be stupid, but on the post I did about playing a practical joke on my coworker, which my immediate supervisor knew about, apparently someone in our other office, who doesn't like our office, has been reading my blog, and reported that post.

Nothing really happened. My supervisor's supervisor read it, as did our HIPAA person, and they just said to be careful, as it looks like we have a lot of time on our hands. I wasn't even told to take it down, or stop posting about work, or given an official warning.

So, I decided to remove the majority of the pictures on my own, and I will just make sure to be more careful in the future.

But, I NEVER talk about clients. Why was I so dumb and put my full name on my blog?

Beth said...

Michel - I'm not leaving! Relax, girl! I need you all too much.

Kristina - I totally understand. If we don't learn to laugh about the stresses in our life, we might go postal. But then again, that could be some good blog fodder.

only a movie said...

Oh Beth, I was worried about you. Perhaps you need an unbloggable blog so that you can post all your details. It does wonders to get them out...
I am wondering if VM had trouble at school. She had a post up briefly about having a school laptop. Ack.
I would be very sad if you went under the radar, but really understand why you would want to...

Gaston Studio said...

Okay, I've got goosebumps and they're really big ones, plus I'm tearing up and that isn't so good 'cause I've also a little sinus problems today. Excuse me while I blow.

That was one helluva post young lady! I can say this because Beth is the age of my youngest and besides, we have adoption papers in the works!

Vodka Mom has given many of us newbies a huge vote of confidence just by visiting, and I hope we'll be able to visit her again soon.

Hey, we've all got your back and if you ever need, we can burn a wide path to Georgia, the sight of which even Sherman would be envious.
Jane (your other mommie)

Midwest Mommy said...

I remember when I first started blogging and wasn't sure what I was doing but loved writing. I never got comments and then one day Absolutely Bananas commented on my blog I just about died, lol

Beth said...

only a movie - The unbloggable idea is perfect! You are such a genius!

Jane - Nobody has ever threatened to do a Sherman for me! Awesome!

Midwest Mommy - Isn't it funny how much a comment can mean to us?

only a movie said...

Also, I left you an award at my place. :-)

Penny said...

Never leave your post. It does do good to take a break, as I have found from my own experiences in life. Seeking yourself will add values to your life, and always be true to yourself. At http://determined2.com Interactivity that promotes successful pursuit of life goals. Achieving goals builds our confidence and mindset.

Gaston Studio said...

Oh sweetie, I'd do a Sherman for you any day!

Congratulations on receiving the Noblesse Oblige Award! This is a really serious one and you are so deserving!

And thanks so much for ordering your mother's day present from us. You just made my day!
(will get it in the mail tomorrow!)

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I've always been in awe of the braveness of your posts. I wish all administrators (nonasshat ones) would blog about the ridiculousness that goes on - especially from parents. The nice, hardworking, taxpaying peoples have no idea fo the I'm going to sue if I don't get my way folks who are influencing the public education environment.

Keep on Beth!!

And yeah, I totally fear some dickwad with a corncob up his or her ass is responsible for Vodka's hiatus.

dizzblnd said...

You CAN'T give us up. We are grateful to have you and others like you in our reach.

Deb said...

i think you do a pretty good job keeping your identity and workplace unidentifiable. except that picture of you at the top of your blog. although now that you don't have bolts in your lips anymore, people probably won't recognize you.

lizspin said...

I - too- worry that Vodka Mom's troubles stem from a parent telling on/threatening her.

I got myself in trouble when I inadvertently made fun of my daughter's friend's mother.

I think we all have to be careful never to tell OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES. . .just our own.

Anyway, that's my take on it!

Crazy Charm said...

I couldn't stand losing VM and you in the same week. You made me nervous for a second there...

♥ Braja said...

Vodka Mom's situation is hers, and yours is yours. She'll deal with her with the kind of gob-smacking dignity and oomph that she is made of, as will you.

I don't understand the problems people have with anonymity, family, friends, and blogs, or rather the combination of all of those. I didn't grow up in an environment that dictates that I should be fearful of expression or that I should conform to someone's rules, yet my mother is strict, religious, and very old fashioned.

Speak, do it as yourself, and be bold. And btw, you do comfort me: more than you realize.

xxx

Fragrant Liar said...

I agree.

I just found your blog recently, and I added it immediately to my blog roll because I like it so much. So please, don't go anywhere, huh?

Thanks a bunch.

Candice said...

Hey, maybe you'll get canned and become all popular like Dooce. Then your husband can quit his job and run your website for you while you get knocked up and travel the world for all of your book signings.

I think I'm about to start talking shit about my co-workers now. Be right back.

Kulio said...

ahhhh...reminds me when my MOTHER commented on my blog...ACK - suddenly I felt less free to be me if you know what I mean.

Also, the Seinfeld episode where George is worried about "two worlds colliding!" That's one of my favorite lines.

It's hard not to censor yourself when your readers aren't among the blessed anonymous...but it allows us to use a different kind of creativity, I think.

Deny everything :-) Glad you're still here.

sun lover said...

I am a reader who has been admiring from the background for close to two months now. I feel it is important for me to leave a long winded comment as to why I feel you should forge onward in your journey thru blog land.

First and foremost, I of all people understand the need for you to vent and tell these wonderfully funny and honest to god truths to your job. I am a former teacher and former coach. I have done it all. Kindergarten, Special Education, you name it, all the way up to high school seniors. My mother is a former Special Education teacher (JR High Level) turned Administrator, and my sister is currently a computer/library teacher who use to teach reading recovery and lower elementary. I love your blog! You tell the stories that many do not know, or could never even begin to imagine. Even my CPA, husband laughs and shakes his head in agreement. Your behind the scenes account of actual events are just what people need to hear or read. The majority of people would not even begin to believe the amount of everyday crap you deal with. Every single story you tell makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time, you see these stories are the same all over the place. Same stories, different kids, different parents, different states. What makes your blog so awesome is your honesty. The general public just doesn't get it. Parents are nut cases plain and simple. Who can blame you for needing to vent to keep your sanity. Some people drink, others do drugs, you, you blog! Who gives a shit! Blog away sister, blog away! It is time the public learns what is wrong with society, because 8 out of 10 times it's not the kids, it's their crack head parents! Oh and one last thing, if you would have been my principal I would probably still be teaching because you choose to see the humor in the ugly. I praise you and admire you for your ability to continue to work day in and day out for peanuts. Stay strong and forge ahead....we need you!

Anna Lefler said...

I echo the others - you have to keep going!

Take care and be well...

:^) Anna

tera said...

Oh boy. Makes me think I need to delete my one work related post...which I might get in a lot of trouble for, but probably not fired.
Really, though, we do what we do to get by in this world. Any (reasonable) little thing to help keep us happy and keep us strong, let alone keep us sane. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that - in it's simplest, purest form.
I guess, though, in the world where everything is out there for everyone to see, all you can do is make sure you don't post something that could cause lasting harm to someone (including yourself), get you arrested, or get you fired.
And in the meantime, it looks like you have, oh, 84 pairs of shoulders you can cry on!
Chin up - we love you!

Beth said...

Thanks for all this support. I promise that wasn't what I was seeking. And that is just part of what this blog does for me. It validates my feelings. I am truly humbled.

Jan said...

Well, here I am - a day late and a dollar short.

For what it's worth, I've speculated about Vodka Mom's, er, demise and have come to the same conclusion you have. I don't think you have a whole lot to worry about, if that is indeed the case.

You've done a great job at keeping your identity a secret, really. Vodka Mom posted pictures of her students occasionally, and I'd always wondered if that was going to cause her some problems.

At any rate, I'm glad you're sticking with it. I'd miss you if you left!

marathoner81 said...

I'm glad you've decided to stay...I just recently discovered your blog and am looking forward to more!

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

Beth, glad to see by the comments you aren't leaving. You can't anyway. I enjoy your blog so much and since my mom is putting in the adoption papers, we'll be sisters and I need to keep up!
keep on, keeping on!
Must go visit Vodka Mom.

Bee and Rose said...

Although I am new to your blog, I am very happy to hear that you are hanging in for the long haul! I've only been blogging for a few months and it seems that many bloggers have been experiencing this. I was sad to see that Vodka Mom was leaving. I was shocked when my sweet friend, blueviolet, just disappeared one day. I couldn't believe it when Jay at Halftime Lessons closed his laptop.

Thanks for sticking with it! I truly enjoy your blog!

Christine Gram said...

It's a strange balance, blogging, for me. I pour my heart out, get to know more and more people who generously share theirs... yet we have to remember it's a public forum (as we've chosen to make it, that has allowed us to meet each other) and that we can't see everyone sitting with us on the blogging train.

H.K. said...

I read your post and thought, "oh, no she can't quit!" Even though I am a new reader of yours, I enjoy reading all of your posts! And I hope you stick around for a long time!

HeatherPride said...

I agree, I love my bloggy friends! I'm so glad to have "met" everyone!

anymommy said...

It's a fine line to walk, even when you are only dealing with family and friends - I can't even imagine negotiating the tricky waters of students/parents/privacy rules. I think you do a beautiful job. Your words about the ease of opening up on line are so true. Keep doing it!

Hit 40 said...

I imagine Vodka moms absence shook you. It scared me too. Folks think that we are saints - do not drink, curse,...

I got up from the computer and sat quietly for a while to ponder everything that was on line. My identity is hidden. The only thing that I could think of... do not give away my address for any "freebies" from others online who might not really be my friend.

I have not written or would write about a particular student. But supersperm is fair game!!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

Well color me "glad as heck" that you aren't going anywhere. I must say coming here and reading your blog and getting to cyberknowyou has been a distinct pleasure. You're one of my favs! I don't blog about work....because it's too boring to even talk about. And I don't blog about my hubby because he would torture me until I died. And now that my daughter has a blog I'm going to have to be REALLY careful what I say about her lol...and now my mom is threatening me with one of her own! Sheesh pretty soon I'm just going to have to post blank pages!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Damn Straight! Between Jane's Sherman tank and MHS's Harley we could scare the crap out of anybody who becomes a threat! I might even get a temp tat just to come up there and kick some ASS! (And I won't wear my keds and pearls like I usually do)

Beth, I'm so glad you're staying. It may take me a day or two to get here but I love it here. You have become one of my absolute favs in such a short time. Your wit and honesty draw us all in. I will miss VM too but I'm pretty sure we will see her soon with a new face. How could she stay away from US! LOL

I try really hard not to mention work. My co-workers and boss have no idea that I blog. It gets a little tricky because I'm such a blabbermouth tell-all. It kills me to keep it from them but I worry. My daughter is a first year teacher and blogs also. She does talk about work but like you changes names and never posts pics. I don't even mention her on mine because I've posted pics and that would wreck her anonymity. In fact both my girls blog anonymously from me. I wish I had remained a little more anon from my family and friends. It would make for better stories. LOL
I've said enough but thanks for staying. We love you.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

See, I told you I was a blabbermouth!

Anonymous said...

As a former principal, I feel your pain! But you have done what many are afraid to do! Just keep it general. DON'T give up! You are too funny and say what we ALL should have said!