Just another typical first day of testing

If they'd make me the queen of the education world, I'd do away with high stakes testing in elementary school. Seriously, haven't any of the big wigs ever read the book Leo the Late Bloomer? I'm a firm believer in the fact that some kids just have their jello moment later than others although I have met some adults who still haven't gelled in their ability to think.

Regardless of my opinions, the tests are designed to judge measure the progress of the teachers students so opinions with the help of the negative comments from the local rag can be formed about the dedication of the teachers in a school.

Yesterday was the first day of *the* test. And it was a typical first day of testing kind of day with enough stress to make one reconsider becoming a fry girl.

We got to school and the power was out probably due to some stressed out teacher running into a utility pole to dull the pain. Since the testing manual doesn't advise us to give the test in the dark, we delayed the test until the power was restored.

We had three kids throwing up. Awards went to two of the teachers who were able to get their barfing boys to a trash can. The third teacher got to laugh at us while we transferred answers from the soiled test to a fresh copy which worked better than a diet pill to kill my appetite for lunch.

One child in the fourth grade got so nervous, she wet her pants. Thankfully, the test remained on high ground.

Despite my personal phone calls begging pleading to remind parents to give their child the medicine the doctor prescribed, we had four who came to school completely unmedicated. One of the four children ate part of the answer sheet, one never finished the test, and one refused to take the test. This used to scare me, but now I take my medicine daily so I can handle the stress. It just is what it is. Some things are beyond my control.

Thank goodness we sent home a letter and made a school-wide phone call to all the parents. Otherwise, we might have had more than the eleven students who showed up at school tardy and had to be tested in the afternoon.

Once the testing was over, I visited a few classrooms so I could find something to laugh about. After visiting a few rooms where the kids were dull and quiet after having all their energy and confidence zapped from them, I headed for the kindergarten hallway. In one kindergarten room, the class was singing B-I-N-G-O. Being one who loves a good song, I joined in with class. That is, until I noticed the little girl next to me was signing a different song. And I like her version even better! "B-I-embryo and bean-jo was his name, oh!"

Thank God we aren't testing the kindergartners yet!