Wednesday, April 22, 2009

If you try hard enough, you can always find the silver lining

Sometimes people who work in education become very focused on the *bad* things that happen. Their reaction to the bad is to become more stressed. If only they'd learn to focus on the positives.

For instance, no need to get overwhelmed when a detective comes to the school to talk to a student about an incident that took place in the neighborhood. If you'd just look on the bright side, you'd realize the thug kid is smarter than you thought because he didn't get caught is innocent!

And when a parent comes to tour the school with their upcoming Kindergarten student, don't worry when the potential student freaks out is puzzled by the girth of the pregnant teacher walking down the hall. What a great opportunity for a little biology lesson because the child guessed closer than the mother's explanation by guessing that the baby would come out of the lady's butt.

And if a student is sent to your office BEFORE the big state test because his mother says he is faking being sick and you tell him that he has to show us the chunks before we will indeed send his butt home, it is a great opportunity to discuss the importance of being honest. That child will appreciate the valuable lesson he has learned especially when he proves his mother wrong by indeed blowing chunks all over the room, including good coverage of the test.

As for me, all the events of this week have been appreciated over a box glass of wine. Which will help me get the three or four sleep I so desperately need.

31 comments:

darsden said...

:P funny! (all the teachers are going thru that testing crap...with migraines I hear)

Jan said...

Remind me to send my son's principal a huge bouquet of flowers.

You are definitely underpaid.

Hit 40 said...

You had me for a minute!!! I thought you were going to lecture me on my negative attitude.

Close one!!! My student teacher is getting closer to our dark side. He has started to turn :-O

Kristina P. said...

SOunds good to me!

Musings of the Mrs. said...

Gosh, I sure wish I could look at the bright side like you can. I need a full box of wine to do that.

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh how I miss these school days! lol

only a movie said...

IMO, vomiting children might be the toughest thing about teaching. And in my building? Our custodian tries his best to avoid any vomit scenes. He doesn't think it's part of his job. Ick.

You need a wine tour, forget the box.

fragrantliar said...

You definitely deserve a raise. And that poor sick kid!

smiles4u said...

You all are under paid and under appreciated for all that you do and deal with day after day. That poor kid...nothing worse then getting sick away from home...he did finally get to go home then?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Your mother was right, you ARE Pollyanna. Hugs

Michel said...

That kid was totally faking it. He can vomit on command. He learned that skill from the thug.

Where the hell are you teaching? Is Michelle Pfieffer there? Is she inspiring them?

Michel said...

School really has changed! (although I would always puke before tests too) Someone should really write a letter to our congressmen and demand the teachers/faculty get a raise.

I'm too lazy, so someone else is going to have to do it.

Laura said...

It doesn't get any better for college profs. My hubby is one, and his stories are just as good - like the student who didn't call to say he was going to miss the test "because I was only allowed one phone call, and you weren't the one I called".

bernthis said...

went to my kid's open house yesterday and profusely thanked her Kindergarten teacher for all that she has done

Beth said...

darsden - If the teachers have migraines, they are still coming to work. I get my best attendance from teachers AND students during testing week.

Jan - Flowers! What a great idea!

Hit 40 - The pull to the dark side is stronger than gravity. They all go there. Unless the drugs keep them on the brink.

Kristina - You are always chipper!

Musings of the Mrs. - The wine helps. Oh, how it helps!

Midwest Mommy - One day I'll miss it, too. One day.

movie - A wine tour?! Great idea! I should totally plan one for us. And you are spot on about the throw up. So hard to stomach (pun intended).

smiles4u - Still, I have fun! And tons and tons to write about! As for puking boy, he did get to go home. You should have seen the look he gave his mother. I'm sure she felt about three inches tall.

Smart Mouth Broad - :) Some days, I'm not.

Michel - I have worked with kids who could throw up on command. And fart on command. I had to ban the serial farter from eating nachos in the lunchroom. We have TONS of Michelle Pfieffers around our building. MOST of my students are awesome! SOME are thugs. It is just the way of the world, I think.

Laura - Hilarious! Only one call. That speaks volumes!

bernthis - You rock! We do have quite a few VERY appreciative parents. And I love them, too!

dizzblnd said...

I don't know how you teachers, principals everyone in the education field do it day in and day out. Especially with kids blowing chunks. You are all DEFINITELY underpaid but deeply appreciated by those of us who have survived school, and/or have kids that are surviving.

Kulio said...

Ah....humor - you have the gift of laughing with life, indeed finding the silver lining. It will keep you young, it will keep you healthy and it will probably keep you employed! Go optimism! :-)

Deb said...

okay, i guess this is making lemonade out of puked up lemons? i mean, girl, you have to just keep your eye on the prize... summer vacation, right? you DO get the summer (most of it?) off, don't you?

Gaston Studio said...

LOL about "and you tell him that he has to show us the chunks before we will indeed send his butt home"...yuk!

Hate to repeat, but more proof that you guys are underpaid and under appreciated, for sure.
Hopefully Deb is correct in that you can look forward to a student-free summer!

And if that doesn't work, we can always get those adoption papers finalized and you can move into one of our guest rooms!

Dee-Zigns Handcrafted Jewelry said...

So glad my kids have a great principal, note to self, end of year gift! I left something for you on my blog :).

HeatherPride said...

I bet that mother felt like crap when she found out her kid actually was sick. Oooops. Kids are so tricky sometimes!

H.K. said...

I think if you didn't look on the bright side or the humor of things, you might go cuckoo! And I'm sure being a principal, you meet alot of cuckoos yourself!

lizspin said...

Let's hear it for boxes of wine!!!!

Beth said...

dizzblnd - Really, working with the kids makes it all worthwhile. And there are worse things to do. We aren't shoveling crap (at least not usually).

Kulio - I need to do everything I can to stay young! And employed!

Deb - My summer is 12 days off. That is all. But how I love those 12 days!

Jane - That guest room sounds great!

Toni - You are so sweet! I love surprises!

Heather Pride - I don't judge. Kids really can be tricky.

HK - Seriously, I probably am cuckoo!

Lizspin - I agree! Boxes o' wine are completely underappreciated!

Phat Mama said...

I do adore a woman who enjoys fine wine from the box.

nikkicrumpet said...

HAH....maybe your ability to see the bright side of the situation has less to do with your sunny outlook....and more to do with the box of wine!

Comedy Goddess said...

I just gave you an award over at my place so stop by to pick it up soon!

You really are a risk taker!

Michel said...

Beth WHERE ARE YOU? I'm a-scared....

Michel said...

Vodka mom has me worried I'm going to have to make new friends...and you know how I hate that!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Hoping everything is OK. We all need a break now and then. I hope that's what this is. Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

Beth said...

phat mamma - Good to know the boxes can be appreciated!

Nikki - You know me so well! :)

Comedy Goddess - Awwww.... shucks! You are too nice!

Michel - I'm back, I'm back!

Smart Mouth Broad - You have no idea how much I appreciate your support.