Monday, January 26, 2009

Now Don't That Beat All

A few years ago, I had a meeting with a parent who wore a t-shirt that said, "PORN - It's cheaper than dating." I kid you not.

Do you know how hard it is to make eye contact with a Dad who would actually wear that shirt to his child's school? Would you be surprised to find out we needed to discuss behavioral issues? No?

Today, we had a meeting with some parents who gave me that same "jaw-dropping" feeling. First, the background info. Bam-bam is a student with diabetes. One day, he tried to run away from the school because we he wanted to go home with his mother. I won't bore you with the details but it ended with Bam-bam tearing up my office and being retrained by a school resource officer and a teacher. Amazingly, the parents were mad with everyone at the school. Looking back, we shouldn't have been amazed. This mother wiped her son's butt until he was in 2nd grade.

Now, when Bam-bam runs away, we report that he is running North on whatever street. Please send for backup. That way the little kid (&*#@) can just tear up the patrol car. I like my office to stay nice and neat.

So, now that you have the visual of the type kid we are dealing with (you do have a visual, right?), let's move on to the meeting we had today. Bam-bam's parents were told that Bam-bam wasn't passing his classes and was in danger of being retained. Apparently, all those low grades from when he refuses to work are having a negative impact on his overall performance.

That was when the dad stood up to announce to me that his son was NOT going to be retained. And his reason was this. When he dropped out of school in the 8th grade, he went to take the GED. And did you know that he scored the highest of anyone in that group taking the GED? And so, therefore, his son did not need to be retained nor did he have to complete all his work to prove to the world that he was smart. And everyone in the sanitation department knew that he was one of the smartest ones in the department.

I may or may not have piddled in my piddle pad. And now I'm looking for a deal in Vegas. I think I have the poker face down now.

9 comments:

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Oh my goodness!

My best friend is a teacher and my fave parent story from her is a parent called her on the phone and asked if she would from now on not send home negative behavior reports on Johnny on Fridays because it ruins thier weekends. : )

Deb said...

ah, but of COURSE!

now remind me... why do we have to pass a test before we can get behind the wheel of a car, but any ol' jackass can be a parent.

only a movie said...

Thanks for the chuckle - I am right there with you. Had a 2 long-ass, ridiculous meetings today. Ridiculous, I tell you. One with lawyers, even. Please. Parent trying to outsource the parenting part of their job. ACK. Sorry for venting all over your comment section. Have yourself a nice glass of wine.

Ann's Rants said...

What you have to put up with and keep a smile on for...or at least restrain yourself from opening up a can of whoop-ass. Hilarious, yet tragic.

nikkicrumpet said...

I do not know how you keep a straight face. I'd get fired the first day...or beat up...or both! Gee it's so nice to know that people like that are breeding our next generation!

Candice said...

I used to have that same shirt!! ;)

I had a patient come in the ER with her daughter wearing a shirt with a person involved 69 style with a goat. No lie.

She was also clearly at least 5 months pregnant and wanted to know if I could get her a pregnancy test because she was unsure if she was knocked up or not. She also requested that I steal some diapers and let her take them with her because her baby boy at home didn't have any.

Niiiiice.

Braja said...

Frikkin' weird...

anymommy said...

Wow. Just wow. I am speechless, typeless, something. And also laughing.

Sunny said...

Some parents are stupid indeed and it's almost impossible to persuade them in anything.