Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Dent in the Night

Nothing makes your heart pound quite like the phone call in the middle of the night (hey, midnight is late for most folks) from your 18 year old son who has gone out with friends. Now that my son, Mr. Happy, is a college student, I don't have a curfew for him. In fact, I rarely hear him come in from his almost nightly escapades. No need to remind me that this won't qualify me for mother of the year (I am still waiting to just be nominated because the thought would mean so much to me) but I trust him. Really, I do.

At 12:07 a.m., the phone roused me out of a deep sleep. And on the other end of the phone, I could hear Mr. Happy's voice. But it sounded little. And scared.

Mr. Happy: Mom. There is a little problem. Just a little situation. I'm not sure what to do. I really don't know what I should do. (For the love God, tell me... tell me... tell meeeee......)

Me: Are you ok? What happened? (Thump, thump, thump goes the heartbeat in the ears.)

Mr. Happy: Uh... ummm.... (Oh my friggin God! Just say it already! Are all your limbs attached? Can you breathe through your pie hole?)

Me: What is it? What is it?

Mr. Happy: My car is gone. (Really? Not in a crash... but GONE?!)

Me: What do you mean? (In my defense, my IQ is lower until I've had a shot of caffeine.)

Mr. Happy: Uhh.... I had my friend bring me back to my car and it isn't here anymore. (Wha?! The car is missing?)

Me: Where are you? (For some reason, pictures of him in a rough, gang-riddled neighborhood flashed in my head.)

Mr. Happy: I'm at Target. (Really? At Target? Where they have video cameras filming the parking lot?)

Me: I'm on my way. Go ahead and call 911.

Mr. Happy: You aren't mad? (Sadly, what flashed before my eyes were moments when I had been mad at him.)

Me: No, baby. You can't be responsible for what a car thief did. (The stupid, rotten, low-life thief... How dare you make my child feel bad! And how dare you remind me of my less than glorious moments in motherhood. May you rot in a car graveyard hell!)

This post is in memory of a cute, little red '03 Toyota Matrix with 100,000 miles. May your tires attract nails and may your engine explode.


Jay @ Halftime Lessons said...

Oh man I am NOT prepared for those calls... I have 13 years to get ready, I guess...or less..

Sorry to hear about the car, but glad I found your blog!!


Beth said...

Jay - Thanks! I'm glad I found your blog, too. Yer funny!

Not The Rockefellers said...

Did this ever bring back memories! I had my car stolen right in front of a store as well. It was right in front!! Pretty bold.

I called 911 and was scolded by the operator that it wasn't a life threatening matter.

So on top of having my car stolen I was now being lectured to.

About a month later a get a phone call at about five o'clock in the morning from my local police department. Seems they found what was left of my vehicle in a mall parking lot.

Nice! So I had to go down to the mall and "identify the body".

Not fun and dealing with the insurance company was a pain in the butt.

Peace and good luck - Rene

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

A few months ago my kids (19and16) used my car to go to the beach. While they were at the beach, someone broke a window and broke in. I got a similar call where the voices were all squeeky and timid. When I realized they wer eOk I could have cared less about the window.

Sorry about the car, but glad your son is OK.

Mr Pineapples said...

So - where do I put the car now? It's run out of gas and I dont need it no-more.

Shall I leave it in Target? Or do you want to pick it up outside my house.

you choos

nikkicrumpet said...

Dang...that seriously sucks! I hope they get it back for one piece. Or at least give you the address of the thieves so you can go "crazy mother" all over them! The poor kid...I bet he was sooo scared to make that phone call!

followthatdog said...

So glad he's ok. late or early phone calls always get the "Hi! What's going on" phone answer from me. I get all panicky.

Anonymous said...

good read, post more!