Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Obviously we need to work on Mr. Funny's conversation skills

After making the hamburger patties for Mr. Strong to grill on the grill (where else), Mr. Funny came into the room with his car keys.

Me: "Are you going somewhere?" (You see, I strive to be a master of the obvious.)

Mr. Funny: "Yes."

Me: "Where are you going?" (Which should have been the first question. What can I say. Its been a long day. Sue me.)

Mr. Funny: "To my friend's house."

Me: "So, are you not eating with us?" (See how my power of observation has already improved.)

Mr. Funny: "I'm not sure."

Me: "What friend are you going to see?"

Mr. Funny: "Someone you don't know."

Me (glaring at him, wondering if I should start the massive search for contraband in his room): "Who?"

Mr. Funny: "A guy named Chris. You don't know him."

Me: "What are you doing at your friend's house?" (And why can't he come here? What do his parents do? Doesn't he know I need names so I can Google them.)

Mr. Funny: "I'm just going there then we are going someplace else."

Me (what ever patience I did have remaining at the end of the day is quickly leaving me): "Where are you going after you leave your friend's house?"

Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Holy schnike! Is there anything you DO know?)

Me (hearing a hum in my ears): "Then you can't go if you can't explain where you are going."

Mr. Funny (with agitation in his voice): "We have to go hear some speaker for extra credit in our class. " (This from the kid who has a frickin 97 as his lowest grade. How can I explain this without sounding callous? We are proud of him but we think he was swapped at birth.)

Me: "Who is the speaker?" (As if I think he'll know.)

Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Are you beginning to see a pattern here?)

Me: "Where is the speaker speaking?" (Really. Where? Where?)

Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (I have nothing to say.)

Me (giving Mr. Funny the stink eye)

Mr. Funny: "That is why I'm going to my friend's house. He knows where the speaker is."

Me: "What class is this for?" (As if that will make a difference.)

Mr. Funny: "U.S. History."

Me (now searching for a sharp stick to poke in my eye): "I know this is probably going to be a stupid question, but what time do you think you'll be home? Just a ball park estimate will do."

Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Bad-dum-ching)

And to think I thought conversations with Kindergartners was challenging.


only a movie said...

I always tell my kid that Questions are the Anti-drug. Not that I think mine (or yours) are engaging in such activity. I just need to keep him on his toes.

He hates me for that.

Beth said...

Only a movie - That is a good one. I tell my kids that my job is to annoy and embarrass them. They say I am doing a good job! Two thumbs up!

essbesee said...

I can only say that I'm not looking forward to my lil' guys growing up enough to have this conversation with me.

Kristina P. said...

I feel bad, but I think I had this same conversation with my husband, when he asked me why I was going out of county, and didn't want to explain all of the minute details. :(

Crazy Charm said...

Once I was five minutes late for dinner and my mom searched my entire room. Seriously. I told her that I wasn't on drugs, but she was driving me to it. lol

Deb said...

Been there, done that - many times. And somehow I survived!

bernthis said...

okay, I don't know what I would do, oh yeah, wait, I'm tying her up when she is 11 and letting her loose when she turns 30. Ok, I feel better now

Beth said...

Sheri - For the most part, the boys aren't too sullen and snitty. They are just vague. And I love details.

Kristina - As if husbands ever listen. So do not feel bad about being minimal in your answers.

Crazy Charm - My mother used to open my mail. Drove me crazy! At this point, I've never searched their room. I haven't had a reason but if I did, I would totally do it.

Deb - Good to know people who have survived.

bernthis - Damnit! Why didn't I think of this idea? Keep us posted on how that works out.

Unknown said...

You know, I think being vague is a boy thing. My son would respond to my questions exactly like your Mr. Funny, but my girls... now they came up with some creative evasive shit that they thought I was stupid to spot as a lie or a diverionsary tactic!
If I had to raise them all over again, I'd definitely take bernthis' idea.

Anonymous said...

Ah, there's nothing like playing 20 Questions with a teenager. It's enough to drive you to drink.

Is it 5 o'clock yet?

Laura Marchant said...

lol, that would drive me nuts!

Ally said...

So this is what I get to look forward to with my boys? What fun! j/k =)

I found your blog thru NikkiCrumpet, I'll be back!

HeatherPride said...

Ohhhhh....I just can't wait for this age!!!

Michele said...

I found your blog from Nikkicrumpet..and thank you so much for making my day...I'm sitting at my desk trying not to look like an idiot laughing at my computer. Don't ya just love them teens? "I don't know"...their favorite words...especially when I ask them what they want for dinner..."I don't know"!

I added you to my favorites, so I'll be back to visit often! Stop by when you have time!


LunaMoonbeam said...

Oh. my. goodness.

Nikkicrumpet sent me...and I think I might have to stick around!

Sunny said...

He'll improve with time.

P.S I love the new layout It rocks!

Beth said...

Gaston Studios - The minimal conversation may be a boy thing. Come to think of it, my step-daughters always have a lot to say.

Jan - If I could legally drink at work, it would make the job more entertaining. I might start writing our congressmen and representatives about it.

Midwest Mommy - He makes me crazier now than when he just didn't sleep through the night.

Ally - Thanks for coming! And you do have this to look forward to. The fun never ends.

HeatherPride - The wait is about as exciting as waiting in the waiting room before a GYN appointment. Really.

Michele - One of my best friends growing up spelled her name with one l like you. Thanks for stopping by! I'm glad I'm not the only one entertained by the I don't knows.

Aunt Lolo - NikkiCrumpet is a sweetie. Thanks for stopping by!

Sunny - Thanks for noticing the layout changes. I love being colorful. And I do hope he'll improve with time. I have fond memories of our long conversations together.

Candice said...

He certainly has a way with words doesn't he? ;)

Deb said...

Uh, I don't know what to say.

Michel said...

And THIS is exactly why God invented dogs... Threaten to ship him off to Sudan to stay with me. A week of my parenting skills (or lack thereof) and he'd be cured lickity split!

Michel said...

Thanks for reminding me. I should probably apologize to my parents.

Also, nice use of the ever-effective stink eye. I totally forgot about that option. I may have to steal that from you.

Lisa said...

That's so funny! I think I have had the same conversation with my kids! They didn't know anything either! UGH!

Aracely said...

Sounds like Mr. Funny is Mr. Mysterious.

DCIU said...

The only thing you left out was "How about if I call your friends mom to find out more about the the speaker? Maybe she will know." Then you could watch Mr. Funny as he tries to get out of that one! LOL!

Been there, done that! Some fun, eh?

Ann Imig said...

Hey. Mr. Funny? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


(and this is why my kids already ask for Daddy. Constantly.)

LCO's said...

Its better then my husbands grunts to every question. I would kill for three words!

Kulio said...

ohhhhhh! Yes, just recently I had to tell the Teenager, "Please don't make me guess. Pretend I'm an idiot and you have to explain everything in super slo-mo."

Information! That's all we want. :-)

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Why is it always so much more amusing when it's someone else?