Tuesday, November 3, 2009

She sells herself short

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She was nine years old when I met her and instantly, I was in love.  She has always been my favorite niece even if she is my only niece.  That doesn’t matter!  Because if I could have picked out a niece, I would have picked someone just like her!.  I’ll never forget how desperately she wanted my oldest son to be born on her birthday.  When he came a day earlier than her big day, she shrugged it off and said, “That’s okay.  He can have his day and I’ll still have mine.”

She has always had an amazing outlook on life.

When my ex-husband and I were divorcing, she was sad and said she felt like I wouldn’t be her aunt anymore.  Marriage may have made her my niece but there was no way I could have let her go.  She’ll always be my favorite niece.  While we may not really be related, we have a bond that has stood the test of time.

Life hasn’t always been kind to her.  And life doesn’t always wrap up with a nice ending; however, the story is her story to tell.  I hope one day, she will.

Her mother used to accuse me of wanting her for my own daughter.  On one hand, she was wrong.  I never felt the urge to be her mother.  Besides, being her aunt was more fun.  On the other hand, she was right.  I would have loved to have had the chance for her to know stability.  And love without condition.

Despite the miles between us, she remains a big part of our lives.  I love to chat with her on the phone.  She often apologizes for doing most of the talking but what she doesn’t know is that I could listen to her all day.  Most of the time, she is upbeat and excited.  Sometimes she is sad.

She questions her abilities.  Her education.  Her experiences.  Her memory.  Her background.  Her worth.

I pray that one day, she’ll know, like we know, how completely wonderful she is. 

39 comments:

only a movie said...

Oh I love this, Beth. I'm sure you're the best auntie out there. xo

otin said...

Now this one rocks me to the core! I have had so many step siblings and half siblings that I know what it is like to lose relationships through marital problems! I am so glad that you kept in contact! I really would love to see my half sister one day, it has been over 12 years!

Brian Miller said...

you are a cool aunt. keep it up! we all need those attachments and family we can talk to. keep telling her how wonderful she is, you can never say it enough...one day she will believe it.

Ann's Rants said...

Now I have a huge lump in my throat.

What a beautiful post.

Thank you for believing in her.

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure she treasures you.

Anonymous said...

This kid has a great heart and more chutzpa than anyone I ever met.
EXAMPLE 1.
I think I will move from South Georgia to NYC, I know somebody there.
Yikes.Now a few years later and she completely self sufficient and hosting the the country cousins for a visit to the big city.
Mr Strong

smiles4u said...

How truely wonderful! I love that you have kept this bond with her. I know you means as much to her as she does to you. So special. I am thankful that she has had you in her life to keep believing in her and all the possibilities for her life.

Midwest Mommy said...

My favorite uncle divorced my favorite aunt when I was younger. She was the best aunt. She would have us over for pizza and movies and just loved to hang out with my sisters and I. Because of certain family members after they were divorced we were not allowed to ever speak to her again. When I turned 18 my sisters and I made contact with her. It was awesome and we had dinner. Word got back to my family and once again we were banished from talking to her. It is so sad. I am so glad you are keeping in touch with her. It means more to her than I think you know. I know at least for me it would have if I could have kept in touch with my aunt.

blueviolet said...

That was so wonderful and she is very blessed to have you for her aunt!

bernthis said...

I wish I'd had an aunt like that. I try very hard to teach my kid to be a good person but to let her know, it's ok not to be perfect.

WhisperingWriter said...

How sweet.

You're a wonderful aunt.

Beth said...

Erin - Really, she is easy to be good to. She really IS the best niece!

otin - I can't imagine not having her in my life. I feel for you having lost touch with your step and half siblings.

Brian - I will keep telling her! She is wonderful!

Ann - If you knew her, you'd believe in her, too.

Kristina - Of course, she treasures me. :)

Mr. Strong - Have I told you lately that you are the BEST husband! Not all husbands would love a niece from the first marriage like you have.

smiles4u - And I am soooo thankful to have her in my life. She inspires me.

Midwest Mommy - There was a short time, when she was still young when we were banned from each other. But we are aunt/niece soul mates - so they couldn't keep us apart for long.

blueviolet - You are so sweet!

bernthis - I think you are doing an awesome job with your child. At least you own that she isn't perfect.

WhisperingWriter - Thanks!

Jules said...

That's what makes you a great aunt and a wonderful person!

A Mom on Spin said...

Gotta admit that aunts can be very special in ways that mothers can't. . .

Fidgeting Gidget said...

What a nice post! I hope she reads your blog, because I know that if someone wrote this about me, I'd probably cry tears of flattery. :)

Jan said...

Oh, Beth. Does she read your blog? I hope so, because this was just lovely. She sounds like a remarkable young woman.

sun lover said...

What a wonderful post. She is one lucky girl to have someone who cares about her as much as you do.

Gaston Studio said...

You are such a wonderful person, Beth, to have kept up the relationship with your niece despite changes in marital status. With your constant tutoring and love, one day, she will gain the stability and confidence you desire for her and she will always love you.

Pearl said...

She's lucky to have you. The gift of an adult in your life, particularly of the same sex, who believes in you, finds you smart and funny and looks forward to time with you, is an enormous gift that she will carry with her all her life.

She may not KNOW it until she's well into her adulthood, but she'll know, like you do, that there aren't limits on love.

Pearl

Michel said...

Your post made me cry! Such a wonderful, wonderful post for your neice. You don't need to be related by blood to love someone.

You're the best, beth!

Knucklehead said...

That's awesome, Beth. Nice to see that your relationship with your niece survived the divorce. That's not always the case. Speaks to the character of both of you.

carma said...

She is lucky to have you in her life. My sister takes ZERO INTEREST in my son, who as you know is a fine young man. Her loss :-(

TechnoBabe said...

When you connect with someone like that, you don't have to be blood relatives. The bond is there.

Kulio said...

She is so obviously lucky to have you!

Do you know what a gift it is, to have someone who just really wants to listen to you?

Beautiful.

A Free Man said...

Lovely post, Beth. She's lucky to have an aunt like you.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

what nice thoughts.

Momma Chae said...

I'm glad she has you. :)

I Wonder Wye said...

This is so sweet!! You are a great Auntie! She is lucky to have you in her life. I was sad to 'lose' my former MIL when I divorced my first husband...she was the best...fortunately, even though there was pressure from his family, she has remained a friend, though we seldom see one another now..

Mrs. K said...

OMG you're so sweet! how lucky is she to have you!

Joanna Jenkins said...

It sounds like you are both lucky to have each other. I wish your niece great things in her life.

xo

♥ Braja said...

Gosh, with an aunt like you, how could she not?

Captain Dumbass said...

Do you have room for a nephew?

Cristin said...

This was too freaking sweet.

My kids have oodles of awesome aunts, lucky them.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

sounds like to me she's lucky to have such an amazing aunt!

Mary Anne Gruen said...

I think you're both lucky. Hang in there and don't let go!

I've given you The Heartfelt Award over on my blog http://www.StarlightBlog.com

Don't worry if you don't have time to do the whole award thing. This is mostly a tribute to you and your blog.

JennyMac said...

this was very touching...and everyone needs an aunt like you or someone like this in their corner.

Sande said...

Oh ... Auntie Beth!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Loved this post Beth and your niece is so lucky to have you watcing her back and loving her.

sherri said...

what a fantastic aunt you are!