Monday, November 2, 2009

If it walks like a duck…

IMG_4697 Over the years, I’ve had several testy conversations with a local quack child psychologist.  This quack doctor does a lot of school-bashing and loves to tell us all the things she thinks we are doing wrong.  All this she does without us asking ever having set foot in our building.

Let’s get this straight.  We don’t tell her how to treat her patients though I have some ideas.  She doesn’t need to tell us how to educate children especially when she makes ridiculous suggestions like for us to have beads strung across the base of the desk for a particular student to rub his feet on when ever he wants.  Because that wouldn’t be distracting at all.  And it would be oh, so sanitary.

Today, a parent came to see me because she wanted my help with her daughter who has been seeing this quack doctor.  I wanted to tell her to run like hell but I found I didn’t have to.  This quack doctor had sent the mother a letter stating that the daughter had been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and there were some problems.  Apparently, after a mere two weeks in therapy, this quack doctor had determined the child was “resistant to treatment” through her program and was being dismissed.

This quack doctor rejected an oppositional child from her program for being… well… oppositional.

Am I being Punk’d?

33 comments:

Brian Miller said...

quack quack...

if i kicked em out for being oppositional i'd be out of a job...

though i do like the foot/bead idea...lol.

quack.

Michele said...

Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Do they make this crap up or is that a real disorder?

lakeviewer said...

I've been wondering the same thing. If professionals can't treat a malady they discover, how do they expect educators to?

only a movie said...

Um, the bead suggestion seems like it would be a good OT support, in the right context, but weird coming from a psych.
And that resistant to treatment thing cracks me up. I've seen it before - usually fueled by managed care (meaning somebody isn't getting paid, so they terminate).
Although, I must say that as a parent, I LOVED bringing the 20 page report from the outside psych examiner to my son's IEP meeting. But then, his school sort of needed some suggestions.
Apparently I could blog in your comment section all day, Ms. Beth.

Beth said...

Brian - It cracks me up that a psychiatrist can diagnose then throw her hands up in despair just 2 weeks later. We know how she is feeling but to give up? Really?

Michele - It is real in our world - though I think overdiagnosed. Sometimes, I think the diagnosis is more related to poor parenting (but not always).

lakeviewer - Exactly!

Erin - I love when I can get you on a soapbox.

beth said...

not knowing anything about this oppositional disorder, i was wondering why the child was being dismissed because i would assume it was because she was being oppostional. i am glad i did figure it out. i do have to wonder about the quack though. i feel like the appropriate response to her in this situation would be "well, duh."

Fragrant Liar said...

Having been punked recently, I sense your fear. However, this quack job is just that. You, therefore, are not being punked. Now, tell me, how does that make you feel? Is there anything you'd like to bring up about your childhood? Anything at all that may bear on our present conversation? We may have some answers about why you became a school principal. Just relax and breathe.

That'll be $120. Cash.

Jan said...

Oh, I have a horror story about a school psychologist. I'll spare you the tale, considering it would take, like, THREE YEARS to tell it in your comments section.

May I just say you have my utmost sympathy. And you deserve a week at a fancy spa.

Yeah, you do.

Oh My Goddess said...

Isn't it amazing when the person won't fit in the box?

blueviolet said...

Outrageous. The one who is oppositional here is the doctor. :(

Chief said...

We have the same crap over at our school. common sense goes completely out the window. my favorite is when they read the file and decide we are doing everything all wrong without ever setting foot in the classroom with the kid!

justsomethoughts... said...

this guy sounds like gold!
maybe he can come to our district.

a real gem.

Candice said...

Sounds as though she takes her job very seriously. I also bet she loves a good challenge..

NOT.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I feel for you Beth. I agree with Jan - a fancy spa day for putting up with the likes of quakaroonie.

Knucklehead said...

Oppositional Defiant "Disorder". Yeah, gotta love it. Now there's an official diagnosis for "a-hole."

Beth said...

beth - "well, duh" is the perfect thing to say in this situation.

Fragrant - You were punked?! And not by the spanx? I want to hear about it!

Jan - Oh, you should write a novel about it! I'd buy it. Then I'd have something to read in the spa (bathroom).

OMG - Exactly.

blueviolet - I hadn't thought about it that way! Brilliant!

Chief - I know! Crazy that they can make such opinions about something they've never seen.

justsomethoughts - I wouldn't want to wish this lady on anyone. But I do love your sarcasm!

Candice - The classroom teachers have figured out how to handle the girl but we don't get the option of giving up on her. Thank God.

Pseudo - Can I pick a spa in Hawaii?

Knucklehead - Personally, I do feel that ODD is usually an excuse for a kid to exhibit bad behavior. We've figured out how to handle the girl at school. Bad choice = bad consequence. Good choice = good consequence. Her mother just needs to buck up and put those consequences in place.

Jules said...

And now the school is supposed to do what with the ODD child?????? Nice.

TechnoBabe said...

Hopefully, this mother is wise enough to know her child has been given divine intervention.

d. moll, l.ac. said...

Guess I live a sheltered life, ODD is a new one for me, can see where it could be applied across the board. Can it be treated with statins?

Christine Gram said...

I love your retelling... but I can't think too much about what all you say means for education. Ugh what a mess. Might be a good argument for homeschooling.

Gaston Studio said...

OMG, everyone's already said everything I wanted to say... if I had been here sooner, that is... but just for fun, I'm going to "ditto" Fragrant Liar 'cause that kind of says it all!

Breathe, sweetie, just breathe and go to that spa in Hawaii.

otin said...

I wonder if the Doctor would have dismissed an overly shy and timid child??

Michel said...

SHIT! I think I might have oppositional defiant disorder. I am all of those things!!!

Seriously? Do they just make these things up now?? Don't they just mean your kid is rude and won't mind??

I know how to fix that: SPANKING

WTF Beth! How on earth do you stand it!?

Michel said...

SHIT! I think I might have oppositional defiant disorder. I am all of those things!!!

Seriously? Do they just make these things up now?? Don't they just mean your kid is rude and won't mind??

I know how to fix that: SPANKING

WTF Beth! How on earth do you stand it!?

Michel said...

PS i'm going to go into the Embassy tomorrow and tell them that I have oppositional defiant disorder and therefore, they need to accommodate my disability.

I'm totally going to make up random treatments like new computer and someone to always refill the stapler so I don't have to keep getting up to use someone else's stapler b/c i'm too lazy to actually do it myself.

I'll probably get promoted. Thanks Beth!

Cristin said...

If it looks like a quack and talks like a quack...

that's all I got.

H.K. said...

It is amazing that doctors have to come up with some very clinical term for a child when it could actually just mean they need extra TLC at home.

♥ Braja said...

Oh, beautiful :))) And where were you when I was in school and needed a principal???

(OK, possibly in the class a few years behind me, but just sayin'....)

Kulio said...

Oh my goodness, you have the best stories!!!

And the punch line - nice writing :-)

Mellisa - Chinook Jewelry said...

Now I'm just a speechie but I think I have the correct diagnosis for the child, one that I commonly see in my field... SRCS (pronounced "circs"). Oh, you're not familiar with this disorder? Well, perhaps it's being misdiagnosed in your district as Oppositional Defiant Disorder- we prefer to call it Spoiled Rotten Child Syndrome. I think it makes the treatment more clear :)

A Free Man said...

Oppositional Defiant Disorder? I've got very little respect for the 'science' of psychology. Particularly when they start pulling out the prescription pads. Giving kids speed for ADD is just a bad idea. A very bad idea.

Momma Chae said...

LOL. That's hilarious! (and sad)

Anonymous said...

bethsayswhatishouldhavesaid.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.