Friday, July 31, 2009

All "Lioned" Up

The pace at school has reached a fevered frenzy trying to get the school ready for the over-excited parent stampede Open House.

Replace stained ceiling tiles but don't worry about the leak that is the cause of the stain. Check.

Call maintenance for the hundredth fifth time about AC in Media Center AND the AC for the menopausal teacher because that baby just can't get cold enough. Check.

Sort out papers and handbooks to overwhelm go home with parents. Check.

Take custodians out to lunch for having to deal with all of us crazed educators doing such an excellent job making the school shine. Check.

All the while, parents who have moved to the area are still coming into the office to enroll students.

One parent came in to withdraw her two daughters. I don't think I've ever seen this woman happy. Her personal mission last year was to get a bus driver fired. In the end, I had an arsenal of videos that could have been used to train bus drivers how to do their job. When she came in... surprise, surprise... she wasn't happy. Still.

Melancholy Mom (with her arms crossed and a haughty attitude): "I want to withdraw my children from this school."

Me (smiling, because that is my job and she had just made my day): "Not a problem. Where will they be going to school this coming up year?"

Melancholy Mom (clearly irked that I asked): "I am home schooling them."

Me: "That is fine. You will need to complete some paperwork at the Board of Education office stating that you are home schooling your children."

Melancholy Mom: "THAT is none of their business! Why do I have to tell anyone what I am doing?"

Me: "It has to do with the Compulsory Attendance law...." Yada yada yawn.

Melancholy Mom (starting to look like a fierce lion): "Well, that just isn't right. The public education in this town is awful, just awful. Do you know what I think is the biggest problem with your curriculum in your school?" Um, no. I really don't.

I just stared at her because I know these types of conversations. The mother lion was going for blood to tell me what she thought no matter what.

Melancholy Mom: "You guys spend too much time reading. Kids need the chance to see the world and experience things outside of school." Did she think we were an flipping travel agency? And when did reading in school become a problem?

After her verbal diarrhea she had finished, I looked around and got excited because one of my secretaries was at her desk trying to disguise her laughter. It always helps when more than one person hears a conversation. Besides, I'm really not that creative and I couldn't make this crap up.

40 comments:

Jan said...

Wait until she finds out that she still has to follow a curriculum...

Those poor kids.

M.J. said...

'Tis the season!

Deb said...

tell me you threw in a "and don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out" for good measure!

i can't believe i missed your entire summer vacation. back to school already?

darsden said...

LOL, great post...welcome back to school eh, one in every bunch!

only a movie said...

Wicked fun parent story. I can't wait to start again (ok, jk).

Thinking of you this week, Beth. You are a rockstar among educators.

sun lover said...

You really can't make this shit up...and that is the sad truth. Welcome Back to school, welcome back!

The Nice One said...

Waaaah. I don't want to go back!

I dunno, Mom kinda has a point. In our schools there are 2 hours dedicated to "language arts" which is basically reading, since writing is no longer taught. And one hour on math. Same with Science, which is combined with Social Studies. Standardized tests, sigh.

Vodka Mom said...

don't even BREATHE the word school......not yet, anyway!!!

Brian Miller said...

lol. i love it when that happens, little happy blessings and those that deliver them making themselves look ignorant.

followthatdog said...

If only all of the parents who think schools spend too much time reading would withdraw their kids schools would be better off.
At least you're rid of her, right? And you are very thoughtful to reward the custodial staff. I think most people just take them for granted when they absolutely shouldn't.

TechnoBabe said...

Good comment from Brian. I am so glad I did not become a teacher because I would want to be working with the children and not the childish parents.

Kristina P. said...

Too much time reading. Is there such a thing?!?

Little Ms Blogger said...

This was hysterical. Although, I feel badly for her kids...

Hit 40 said...

THE BITCH WILL BE BACK!!!

Her poor kids!! They will be back and even further behind than before. So sad!!! I have seen this bitch at my school too.

mo.stoneskin said...

Crazy, crazy stuff. I don't know where those types come from, and sadly in my type of work I don't encounter them, but my wife does and, well they're just crazy. The only plausible explanation is that during the night a zombie replaced their brains with Gatorade.

K13 said...

Sounds like one crazy mom for sure. I bet I have a lot of them to look forward to once i'm "on the job" huh?

I am certain that you and your secretary bust a gut laughing together after crazy mom left!

Anonymous said...

Yeah I deal with a lot of these that do not understand why it is any of your business where or what their homeschool agenda will be. You really don't believe there are parents out there who would just keep their kids at home and not teach them anything? Wha...???
I had one I know for a fact let their kid run around all day helping their family in a rock yard. But he was doing his school work that must have been in the morning before he started his day selling pot and drugs he got on the side. (Which by the way got him expelled one year but he was framed ya know).
Yea I'm really looking forward to going back to that. I know a guy that lives in another state close to ours whose town has just passed a law that school will only be Tuesday through Friday. I want to move there oh yeah!

Anonymous said...

How is it when I post a comment I indent and make it look so nice. yet when I send it , it looks like run on sentances created by some idiot. I just love computers

Mrs. K said...

what a fidiot

Wendi said...

OMG. You are a saint.

I just had to do my first PTO work of the year today. I'm crying silent tears.

Beth said...

Jan - Exactly!

MJ - And it can be crazier than Christmas.

Deb - My summer is super short. Almost 3 weeks.

darsden - I'm actually excited about the kids coming back. They are so fun!

Erin - You always make me feel great. Keep enjoying your summer. I'd love to catch up with you one day for a photo shoot and hike.

sunlover - Thanks! When it was happening, I knew it was going to be a blog post.

The Nice One - Writing isn't taught? OMG! We still teach every subject. We just teach reading and writing while teaching Science and Social Studies. The tests definitely are driving curriculum these days.

Vodka Mom - Lalalalalala. I didn't say anything...

Brian Miller - The kids are rarely the issue.

followthatdog - She'll be back. They always are.

TechnoBabe - It IS the parents that make up the majority of the challenges.

Kristina - I didn't think so.

Little Ms Blogger - I feel bad for the kids.

Hit 40 - I KNOW! They always come back. And the kids are always stuck in the middle.

stoneskin - Great image. It may help with my patience.

K13 - We laughed until we cried! It was hilarious!

Anonymous - There are more home schooled kids than ever. The ones who do nothing give the others a bad name. And Blogger always makes my paragraphs go all akimbo.

Mrs. K - Fidiot is my new word of the day!

Wendi - No saint would think the things I thought of her.

otin said...

I am not making this up, I know people here who homeschool their children and who could not do basic math themselves, let alone teach it!
Are there any requirements for homeschool teachers? If not, then why do real teachers have to go to college!?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Unfortunately I know a mom just like this one. Fortunately, my job is not in education. :-) Sorry, Beth. Good news is that at least you don't have to deal with her this year. You are right..."poor kids".

@MrsK-Fidiot! I love it. I'm always learning all my good words from you (except they're usually in Spanish).

Malady said...

Woah. I forgot what it was like dealing with people like that. (I haven't left my house in just over a year)
I LOVE the crossed out thoughts!

yer funny.

Emily said...

"Did she think we were an effing travel agency?" Hilarious!! :o)

I just found your blog today and I love it! :o) I'm a teacher so I feel your pain... but luckily, I still have a couple weeks of summer left and I'm currently living in denial that school will start back.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I hear ya, sister. My upcoming post on August 5th is dedicated to YOU! Look for it!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I hear ya, sister. My upcoming post on August 5th is dedicated to YOU! Look for it!

dizzblnd said...

People like this really irk me. You should co-write on my Mental blog.

I'd LOVE to see the report cards on these kids after the 1st nine weeks of HER teaching them. I'll bet she comes crawling back tail between her legs waving the white flag.

Midwest Mommy said...

Those poor kids!

Kulio said...

ahhh...she was lookin' for a fight. On the upside, hey your school is known for READING??
A compliment in disguise.

lakeviewer said...

Hi Beth,
While the world is still vacationing, school people are prepping, and trying to stay calm. Remember to sneak in more long weekends while you can. School bells are soon arriving.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Bye, Mommy..and good luck with that..and have fun with state evals..and if your kid wants to do school sports..good luck with that also..and of course there's college..

I weep for her children.

Peace - Rene

Southern Drawl said...

Read backwards through your blogs to catch up on all the poop..um,er, I mean get the latest scoop...you are hilarious...

Joanna Jenkins said...

The natives are restless :-)
Hope it's a good year for you.

♥ Braja said...

Yeah, I'm with Otin...parents who are so anal and uptight and arrogant and think they can homeschool their kids should have a degree in teaching. That'll fix em :))

Elise said...

love it !

bernthis said...

oh goodie now we'll have two more illterate but well traveled people on our hands. Yay us! and when I say well travelled, I mean they go to the market everyday. what an idiot.

carma said...

for the love of god, tell me that you are NOT spending time teaching the kids reading at your school?????

Ken-Ken said...

Your blog is so refreshing!
I adore it!
Absolutely wonderful.

Debbie said...

How could any school ever spend too much time reading? I say good riddance to her!