Perspective

In just a few months, it appears my mother-in-law has aged ten years. She has lost her teeth again. Still, she smiles as if they were in place in all their enamel glory.

The doctor says her lungs are no worse than they were a year ago which is only because no one will buy her cigarettes. The fluid on the brain is significantly worse. And this is where we are having problems.

She can no longer walk. Her memory is for crap basically gone.

But she is happy. In her world, she is picking weeds, going to work, teaching dance lessons, and entertaining the annoying neighbors. She is even going to the dentist. Her husband who died 5 years ago is still paying the bills. She is happy.

And yet, she is no longer who we knew before. She is but mostly she isn't.

The doctors talked with us about having a shunt inserted to relieve the pressure off her brain. It isn't a complicated procedure. The complication lies in getting her off the respirator. There is a strong chance she won't be able to come off that respirator. Her lungs are that bad. And this scares me for her.

What if we have this shunt put in and it works? It would be great to know that she is able to realize the world around her and to once again carry on a real conversation. But what if she is never able to come off the respirator?

I know there are things worse than death. Isn't that it?