Wild Kingdom

We've had some wild (ok, who am I to judge) rabbits who've moved into the neighborhood. After leaving out a few baby carrots and the food disappeared. I expect an invite to their den any day now. It is nice to have good neighbors. And they look much friendlier than the little old lady with the two poodles although it has become my life mission to wave and smile to her EVERY DAMN DAY because apparently her life sucked and she likes to show it on her face!

When I run in the morning, there are usually two rabbits grazing in the lot across the street. Apparently, they are not supposed to be seen together shy because they usually do their statue pose when I come by. If everything goes as planned, they'll grow to love me as much as I love them. Aren't they adorable?

A few weeks ago, we noticed some bees flying around one corner of the house. After watching them for a while, it was obvious they were crawling under the wood and going .... where?! DANGIT! We didn't invite the stinking bees!

The brave, daring husband crawled into the attic to investigate. He came back stating the bees were NOT in the attic.

After a Google-fied search, we realized we were dealing with honey bees.

DOUBLE DANGIT! We can't kill honey bees! There is a huge decline of honey bees in the United States (and in the world - but it appears the rest of the world is doing a better job advertising for the bees to visit and stay).

After a few frustrating phone calls to the County Extension Agent because WHY THE HECK WOULD WE REALLY WANT THEM TO TAKE OUR CONCERNS SERIOUSLY! We have BEES! BEES HAVE STINGERS! WE DON'T ENJOY THE STINGERS! , a volunteer arrived. Apparently we look a step above complete and total imbecile don't look well educated in all things bees and he didn't trust our judgment that the bees were NOT in the attic.

After a sweaty climb into the attic, Mr. Bee Keeper came down to announce the bees were NOT in the attic.

Oh, really.

He felt they were in the wall. A lively discussion about the merits of going through wood or brick ensued. The wood lost.

After cutting into wood at the top of the garage which has NOT been cleaned out due to reading, avoiding the hotter than holy carp heat and waiting for the garage fairy to arrive, Mr. Bee Keeper announced the bees were NOT in the wall!

The next step was to attack check the eaves of the house.

Mr. Bee Keeper loaded up the bee smoker and explained that the smoke made the bees really excited. Really?! I think I've met others who get excited about *special* smoke, too. Who knew humans had so much in common with the bees?

Mr. Bee Keeper really smoked those bees. And they did get excited and I believe a few bee brain cells were fried in the process which is why you should NOT smoke stuff even if it is just pine straw!

The task of ruining cutting into the eaves began. It started with a little hole but quickly grew into a more expensive chunk-o-damage about an eight foot section.

HOLY HONEY! There were tons of bees! This experience has taught me that bees are smarter than I initially thought. Their colony even had a brain-like appearance.

Mr. Bee Keeper then began the process of getting stung taking the honey combs down. We begged him to put on his cool bee-keeper hat but he said it wasn't necessary.

Mr. Bee Keeper ain't no sissy! is a very tough man.

While getting stung taking down the honey combs, Mr. Bee Keeper gave us several lessons on bee keeping although I'm not sure why because we wanted the little stingers out of there. He also looked for the queen.

I really didn't understand everything he said but I did get that if you were a bee, you'd want to be the queen. And the drones are boring get killed. See, Mom? I can be a good student!

We all looked for the queen. Mr. Bee Keeper said he'd know her when he saw her.

I looked for the crown.

I looked a little bit closer. Maybe I'd be able to spot that majestic wave.

Is it me or do they all look alike? This is making me feel like a bee-racist.

Instead, I found this bee hanging out on a leaf. Is it just me or are those some BIG eyes?!

Normally, I'm not all a-scared of bees but typically, I don't mess up their condo colony.

I was starting to just think it was all in my head. Bees don't have emotions. Bees won't take this personally.

Then, I saw my cup of water.

DANGIT! There is no denying that the bees have it out for us!

I think I'm going to go see if I can move in with the rabbits.