Me: "Are you going somewhere?" (You see, I strive to be a master of the obvious.)
Mr. Funny: "Yes."
Me: "Where are you going?" (Which should have been the first question. What can I say. Its been a long day. Sue me.)
Mr. Funny: "To my friend's house."
Me: "So, are you not eating with us?" (See how my power of observation has already improved.)
Mr. Funny: "I'm not sure."
Me: "What friend are you going to see?"
Mr. Funny: "Someone you don't know."
Me (glaring at him, wondering if I should start the massive search for contraband in his room): "Who?"
Mr. Funny: "A guy named Chris. You don't know him."
Me: "What are you doing at your friend's house?" (And why can't he come here? What do his parents do? Doesn't he know I need names so I can Google them.)
Mr. Funny: "I'm just going there then we are going someplace else."
Me (what ever patience I did have remaining at the end of the day is quickly leaving me): "Where are you going after you leave your friend's house?"
Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Holy schnike! Is there anything you DO know?)
Me (hearing a hum in my ears): "Then you can't go if you can't explain where you are going."
Mr. Funny (with agitation in his voice): "We have to go hear some speaker for extra credit in our class. " (This from the kid who has a frickin 97 as his lowest grade. How can I explain this without sounding callous? We are proud of him but we think he was swapped at birth.)
Me: "Who is the speaker?" (As if I think he'll know.)
Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Are you beginning to see a pattern here?)
Me: "Where is the speaker speaking?" (Really. Where? Where?)
Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (I have nothing to say.)
Me (giving Mr. Funny the stink eye)
Mr. Funny: "That is why I'm going to my friend's house. He knows where the speaker is."
Me: "What class is this for?" (As if that will make a difference.)
Mr. Funny: "U.S. History."
Me (now searching for a sharp stick to poke in my eye): "I know this is probably going to be a stupid question, but what time do you think you'll be home? Just a ball park estimate will do."
Mr. Funny: "I don't know." (Bad-dum-ching)
And to think I thought conversations with Kindergartners was challenging.