Monday, March 23, 2009

Are you nuts if you can't open your coconut?

About a month ago, I read a post by GreenJello that reminded me of a little story about my grandmother. Which reminded me of a lot of lessons I've learned from my grandmother. For this week's Tuesday Tribute, I want to take a moment to reflect on a few of these lessons learned from my grandmother.

Lesson #1: Winning is everything! I was in elementary school before I realized my grandmother wasn't like other grandmothers. When she took my sister and I to bowl, she always kicked our ass won. To her, winning is so important, cheating is allowed.

Lesson #2: Food Poisoning is a myth. Refrigeration is truly optional. Thanks to my grandmother's refusal to properly store food efforts, I have a digestive system that is tougher than nails. Mexico, here I come!

Lesson #3: Any thing edible can go in the microwave. Even if it is a coconut. And it was the coconut's fault that the door of the microwave blew off. Not my grandmother's, that is for sure. Who could have guessed the coconut would explode taking the microwave door off and blowing it clear across the room?

Thank you, Grandma, for all you have taught me. I can't imagine where I would be without all your wisdom.

24 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Haha! Your grandma sounds hilarious!!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I love your grandma. Can picture that microwave door flying off in all its glory.

sherri said...

that is one badass grandma. I love your sculpture photo, what a great hubby you must have to do that - and glad to hear you had those lip bolts removed. Thanks for stopping by the claw...

Threeboys1mommy said...

I am going to buy a coconut right away!... oh and I guess I should get a new microwave while I'm out.

Femin Susan said...

Those are absolutely fascinating. Wonderful post! Blessings to you and your family……

smiles4u said...

You learned some great life lessons from your dear grandmother didn't you? LOL!

dizzblnd said...

reading your post makes me miss my Granny. Although she never blew up a microwave and a coconut, she has rubbed coconut oil on MANY strippers in her final years.

only a movie said...

What a fun tribute. Your grandma seems like a trip.

Tricia said...

Your grandmother sounds like a blast, no pun intended. I'm still trying to figure out why she wanted to microwave a whole coconut.

Jan said...

I'm with Tricia on this one - my most prominent thought was "Why the hell would you want to microwave a whole coconut??"

Can you enlighten us?

Amanda said...

Wonderful tribute, reminds me of stories about my Great Aunt!

Just B said...

Love your Grandma! My parents have that refrigeration/expiration date optional thing too. An iron gut will take you far in this world!!

Love the new look (which may not be so new)!

Gaston Studio said...

your grandmother reminds me of my favorite aunt, who would have done similar things (to me and with me) and I clearly remember having to scrape off the mold on the edges of cheese because she didn't refrigerate it!

P.S. Are you aware that you've got a typo in your banner?

Kulio said...

hahahaha....oh I love that - she's like a storybook grandma!!!!

Funny, I just opened a coconut the other day - with a hammer and a nail!!!

Michel said...

OMG...where can I find a coconut here?? I'm in government provided housing...there is NEVER a better time to try microwaving products to see what explodes!!!

Hilarious!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOLOL Hey if you ever wanted to rid yourself of a spouse...and not get in trouble with the law...I think there is something to that "exploding coconut" idea. Just have hubby stand in front of the microwave and tell you when the coconut changes color...and POOF! no more hubby hehehehe Not that I would do that because my hubby is a doll! But dang I wish your grandma had been around during my first marriage!!!!

Beth said...

Kristina - She is hilarious. Even if she isn't trying.

Pseudo - The door of the microwave blew across the room and into the garage. What a scene!

Sherri - Never thought about her as a bad ass. I like it!

Threeboys1mommy - So... how did it go?

Femin Susan and Smiles4u - I have learned a lot from her. More about what NOT to do.

dizzblnd - The visual I have is killing me! Please explain the strippers in the scene.

only a movie - She is a trip. And a half.

Tricia and Jan - The reason for the coconut going into the microwave was to soften it so she could cut it in half. I guess you could say it worked.

Amanda - My grandmother had a lot of sisters. Maybe we are related.

Just B - No one should talk down on the value of having a rock gut!

Gaston Studios - Are you for hire? I always need help with the typos. I fixed it! Thanks for helping an old gal out.

Kulio - We bought a coconut when my boys were little just so they could drink the milk. After all the work to open it, they didn't like it.

Michel - Hey! How is Sudan? And are you trying to get sent home faster? I'm officially putting you on microwave restriction.

nikkicrumpet - Geez! I never thought about an exploding coconut as a murder weapon. They should totally add that weapon to the game of Clue. Yes?

Becky said...

Your Grandmother sounds awesome and so much fun :) great tribute!

Deb said...

From now on I am putting on the Depends before I read your posts. I swear!

Deb said...

love the new look! or is it old, by now? can you tell i have completely fallen off the radar??

i hear you about the refrigeration bit. my mother in law has all sorts of perishables out on the counter. cream pies, leftovers...

Midwest Mommy said...

lol, what a fun lady!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

The coconut story cracked me up. Your grandmother must have taught my mother the food poisoning rule. If all we hear on the news is true my mother never would have lived to 82.

racheld said...

I LOVE your Grandma!!! I had a Mammaw, a plain old Southern woman who never wore a pair of pants (ain't ladylike), never traveled more than 75 miles from home, spent her life in garden, kitchen, porch, and once danced with Lawrence Welk.

She, too was full of wisdom, and taught me more than any other person ever did.

racheld said...

Oh, My Goodness!!! Though you don't know me, and it matters not a whit what my Mammaw did or did not do, I was TOTALLY astonished this past weekend when a House Guest and I were swapping old family pictures back and forth, each telling the other of the names and some of the stories.

I turned up one never-before-seen picture, and there, in sleek black tuxedoes and suave fedoras, were my Mammaw and her youngest Sis, neither of whom I had EVER seen as anything but plump, older, proper ladies in cotton dresses and ladypumps. I'm still trying to sort out the difference between that rustic old country woman from the Marlene Dietrich of that faded snapshot. Wow.