Sunday, February 22, 2009

Why I'll Never Be Nominated for Mother of the Year

In light of the upcoming Oscars, I am reminded of how I used to have dreams of being awarded Mother of the Year trophies. I just knew some day, some how some one would recognize the value in the combination of my patience (you aren't going to interview my boys, right?) and my unique perspective on the world. I've kept a shelf cleared for any possible awards. So far, the only plaque I've ever gotten in my life is one for Academic Improvement in the 8th grade (which is basically a nice way to say "You started off the year sucking wind; however, you ended up passing. Yay. Good for you. Better for us."). It would be nice to be recognized for something besides not failing 8th grade.














Some people questioned my judgment when I hung this in my son's room as a joke. Mr. Strong and I found it at his parent's house (and I don't want to know the story behind it). I thought it was funny. Four years later, it is still hanging over the nightstand.
















As a former art history major, I do see the beauty in a large variety of art pieces. Including the human body. Therefore, it didn't even phase me to hang this in the boy's bathroom.

It is art, after all. And the walls were bare (no pun intended) until we hung this gal up there.














And this hangs over the potty in the boy's bathroom. I rather like this retro picture. The girls used to make post-it note clothes for theses ladies a few years ago. They see the body as a blank slate waiting for fashionable clothes.




















And now, thanks to my real life BFF (thanks Kippy!), I have this GREAT poster. I LOVE IT! Without a doubt, my youngest son will love it, too. So, while he was at his father's house for the weekend, I took the liberty of hanging it in his cave (closet turned into an office).

It really brightens up the space in there, don't ya think?

And you guys are probably thinking all this nakedness is what will automatically disqualify me from any Mother of the Year contests. Well, I think you are wrong.














When my son comes home from his father's house, he'll find the new poster hanging in his office. Along with that is a nice note from the heavy girl.

Sorry, honey!

I've been a mother for nearly 2 decades and I've yet to be nominated for the elusive Mother of the Year crown. Since I don't have a snowballs chance in you know where of winning, I might as well lose with a bang

*Note to self: Find number for adolescent therapist.


19 comments:

vintagewindow said...

Thanks for the giggles. I think we share the same sense of humor and lack of Mother of The Year awards. I love that the girls use post it notes to make clothes. LOL too funny.

Have a Happy Day

Kris

Beth said...

Thanks, Kris! I can't seem to get the words and the pictures to line up right. It looks all *purdy* when I'm typing it and when I preview it. Then it goes bat shit when I press publish. Agh! I need a drink.

only a movie said...

Very very funny. My child would love your sense of humor. Maybe you would like to help re-decorate his room this summer. He's punched a few holes in the walls and is repainting after patching them... (The current solution of putting a poster over the hole isn't working - tho if he had poster's like yours...) :-)

Comedy Goddess said...

I think it's a good thing to show images of women who are portrayed as having confidence, which is what I see in your choices. And I think it's very good for young men to see it like that too. So I nominate you for Mother of the Year!

Beth said...

Only a Movie - I'd be more than happy to redecorate. We'll make it a fun event!

Comedy Goddess - You just made my night. My week. My month. My year.

Kristina P. said...

I'll send you a copy of the picture of my next OBGYN appointment, since you won't be able to be there. I'm sure you'll find room for it somewhere.

Braja said...

Mother of the Year?? Pfft. They should make a MOVIE OF YOUR LIFE, dammit....

Kulio said...

hahaha....my 10 year old son walked by as I was viewing your blog and said, "Now that is just WRONG," and kept walking :-)

nikkicrumpet said...

I'm thinking a bouncer in a strip joint is his destiny lol .... Nice work mom hehe

Anna Lefler said...

Har - I love this post! And I love how you've decorated your son's room.

BTW, thanks for visiting Beth Kephart's blog and reading the interview - I really appreciate that!

Hope you had a great weekend and take care...

:^) Anna

dizzblnd said...

Well I'd vote for you, after all, my son was in a septic tank and I took pics and exploited him hehehehe

Deb said...

Hi ~ I gave up any notion of being voted Mother of the Year a long time ago but it's okay because what would I wear? How would I do my hair? I hate giving acceptance speeches! Guess I will have to be satisified knowing that my four grown children still talk to me and haven't needed to spend too much of their hard earned money on therapy!

Gaston Studio said...

Your posts always bring a smile to my face, but this one made me break out laughing!
Thanks for the Monday Morning push into neverneverland.

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Hilarious! Maybe they will appreciate a real woman's body!? : )

Jane said...

Okay, I'm signed into Blogger, let's see if I can post a comment that doesn't disappear into the Google ether.

First, you definitely deserve MOTY for your fine sense of humor. Second, I think *someone* owes me royalty fees for taking a picture of me naked with only my red shoes on in the bathroom.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I'll vote you funniest mother of the year!

Deb said...

i think it could still happen. we had all sorts of naked women around our house growing up, and i did okay. we traveled and lived all over the world and you know how other cultures are much more comfortable with the human body. maybe you're really german? should you ask your mom if you're adopted?

Courtney said...

That's funny, I see that Botero painting all the time up here. There is a shop in the west village that has many different sizes. They display them in the window and outside the door, and here you are just walking down the sidewalk and boom, there it is. I can't remember where it is exactly, but I run into it more that I want to. It is always a shock or pleasant surprise, depending on which way you look at it of course.

amy said...

If *I* were in the Academy, *I'D* vote for you. I mean, that strip with us picture simply rocks. I want one for my guest bathroom. In fact, I want that picture, the naked flapper ladies who can be clothed with post-it note clothes, and the big butt woman for my guest bathroom. Which is also my daughter's bathroom. When she starts taking baths in a bath. i think they'd make great conversation pieces for us while she bathes.

i don't want to know where your in-laws got that strip with me picture, either. this weekend, my mother started to tell me how netflix had somehow accidentally sent them a porn movie instead of the documentary in their queue and what a mystery that was. Then I watched my stepfather quietly (suspiciously) leave the room half-way through her story. I thought my ears were going to start puking all over her nice, new carpet. Some things just DON'T need to be shared. Ew.