Saturday, February 28, 2009

I'm not sure what I did but the sleep gods are angry with me

Earlier this week, I lost hours of sleep because I stupidly nicely went to the school at 3:30 a.m. to let the parents in line for PK registration come into the building. You'd think that the sleep gods would give me some good karma for some amazing, uninterrupted sleep.

Instead, for the next couple of nights, I kept waking up thinking about all the insane lies the parents tell me things I need to remember to do at school. I keep a pad of paper and a pen by my bed so I can sit up, write down my random thought, and go back to sleep. Usually, I use up about one Post-It note a week. This past week, I used four. In two nights. Hopefully, this isn't a sign of needing to buy stock in Post-It notes.

Today is Saturday, a day in which I usually sleep in a little. Seeing how I've unknowingly ticked off the sleeping gods, I shouldn't have been surprised when my son called me after school on Friday to report he needed to be at the school at 4:45 a.m. on Saturday morning because everyone in the school system is too cheap to send the kiddos on the bus the night before and get them a hotel room. He is on the Science Bowl Team and they are going to the State Science Bowl competition. Since he is becoming so well versed in Science, it might be time for him to figure out where he came from seeing how his father and I barely made it through school. As for me, I think they may have accidentally swapped babies in the nursery when he was born. Somewhere in Mayberry is a doctor or lawyer with a child who is barely making it in school and they are scratching their heads at the misfortune.

I digress.

Adding insult to injury in regards to my sleep deprivation, I am driving to my mother-in-law's apartment to entertain her as her other son and the movers move her shit stuff into the assisted living unit. The lucky bastard known as My husband is extremely fortunate because he has a catering gig. He'll miss out on the hell all the fun.

As I finished polishing my halo before going to bed last night, I was looking forward to some good sleep. That is, until the alarm was scheduled to wake me to get Mr. Funny up for his day of science trivia. Again, the funny, funny sleep gods had other plans. During the night, Mr. Strong's stupid cool phone kept twittering to let him know he has a message. I would have turned it off but I was afraid I'd throw the damn thing up against the wall mess something up. So it just bleeping beeped all night long.

I'll be back later tonight and I'm sure I'll have some great stories after spending the day with my mother-in-law. Really, the woman is hilarious (even though she isn't trying to be). The only problem is I'll need to get some sleep before I can share them so I can once again remember how to pick the right phonemes to form real words.

Adios!

13 comments:

Braja said...

I'm kinda holding out for the off-chance that you took the wrong drugs in your sleep-deprived daze and you come back here and dump some truly genius wit. Go on. I'm waiting...

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Sorry about the sleep Beth. I started setting the alarm at 3 back in 1997, when I went back to school for my Master's degree and realized those 3 early hours before I get ready for work were the only ones I was getting for myself. After three years of this, I have resigned myself to this being my schedule. I try to "sleep in" until 6 or so on the weekends, but here it is 4 am and I coud not get back to sleep.

You are quite funny and witty in your early morning hours. I loved the crack about the child swap.

only a movie said...

Oh Beth, I feel you on the sleep deprivation. I am not a strong sleeper at all. Like Pseudo, my body is trained to wake up early and take advantage of the hours before anyone else wakes up to have to myself. And when I know I need to sleep, it sometimes just doesn't happen. Like last night....I only had a bout 5 hours and here it is Saturday with a bunch of driving and family stuff to accomplish.

You are very funny. And your halo is wicked shiny. Hope your day goes well.

Brenda said...

I don't understand being at school at 330am. I must be missing something.

BUT, it sounds like you need to invest in 3m stock, keep this up and you won't remember anything. Ever. Sleep deprivation does that. But post-it notes are a great cure when the caffeine quits doing its job.

I like the word phonemes. I will keep coming back to your blog just to read words like that :)

Deb said...

oh this isn't good. at ALL! is it too soon to turn to drugs?

i hope you are scoring major points for entertaining the MIL while hubs is working.

can't wait to hear the sordid details of the day!

and don't you just hate smart kids and their activities. it's hard to say, "no honey, you can't go be smart and improve your chances of getting into a good school because mommy needs to sleep in".

Kristina P. said...

My sleep cycle has been off too, and the days when I can actually sleep in, like today, of course, I wake up at 7 and can't sleep!

Gaston Studio said...

You are just too funny! I have an ongoing problem with the sleep gods as well, so can definitely relate. But, like Brenda, am I missing something with all the middle of the night schedules you have? Is this because I haven't had children of that age for over 35 years? If so, then thank God for the good ole days.

Kulio said...

hahaha....okay, you are TIRED. You need a girl's night out!!!

Threeboys1mommy said...

My mother in law is in assisted living too :-D

followthatdog said...

I'm hoping you get some good long hours of sleep before those bastards who mandate the time change steal one more hour of your sleep from you. I like the "Fall Back" part of the time change, but this "Spring Forward" bullshit makes me want to knife someone.

Candice said...

You know what puts me to sleep every time? A pitcher of daiquiri's.

You should try it.

Michel said...

You should try to see if the school will pay you overtime for those hours you wake up and then think about work.

If they do, lemme know how you justified it! I've been trying to get reimbursed for that for years!!!

Sunny said...

get your beauty sleep, NOW! :)