What happened to the 'through rain or snow or sleet or hail' part of his contract

When I was growing up, we had a mailbox fastened to the house and a friendly mailman who walked the neighborhood with his canvas bag slung over his shoulder. He was a super nice guy who always spoke to us when he made his rounds. He even tried to teach me to whistle.

My mother always scrounged for money to leave him a tip at Christmas and the beginning of July.

These days, the mailmen (and women) only deliver mail in their dorky little mail trucks. And those mailboxes attached to the house are just reminders of days gone by.

But I don't mind walking out to the mailbox to gather the bills mail. It gives me the chance to practice whistling and annoying the cats from next door who view my yard as their litter box.

Yesterday, I received this little slip of paper in the mailbox. It was resting on top of the mail with no explanation.





The first thought that crossed my mind was that my grumpy fatty, fatty two by four mailman was leaving us a thank you note for all the food we left by the mailbox during the recent food drive. I began to read the message.



What the heck!? My idiot mailman is worried about me removing snow? We live in South Georgia. It doesn't snow here. And we are currently in the middle of a heatwave with the Heat Index hovering around 110 degrees. Does he know something about that place with the double hockey sticks freezing over? Should I be worried?

I continued reading and I didn't even ask for help with the big words.




So, Mr. I'm So Darned Lazy I'd Rather Write 'Mailbox Blocked' And Deliver the Mail Another Day felt like it was time to leave a more official note. On a crappy overused copy with snow references even though we live in the armpit of the south where it doesn't snow. Because he isn't going to take the 3 steps from his truck on the road to the mailbox on the curb. What did he think would happen with 6 people in the house and 6 cars?

No wonder his voluminous hiney spills off the sides of the seat of his mail truck.




Does Mr. Funny's car look like it is too close to the mailbox? I think even a blind dude could figure this one out.

This year, the only tip he is getting from me is the suggestion to cut back on the Twinkies.



And now he wants my cooperation in this matter. In fact, he'd appreciate it.

I wonder how much he'd appreciate the thoughts in my head right now.