Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Trying to communicate

Clumps of raw emotion

Stories that can’t be told

Mind numbing self-preservation

Calls to my husband,“Just cheer me up.  I can’t talk about what is going on today.”

Dreams… expectations… disappointments

Trying to understand the real message screaming to be heard between the lines

Meetings with children services

.

.

.

I wish I could take them home.

36 comments:

Cristin said...

I think my sister wishes she could take some home too...

I have a couple patients I would like to take home.

Kristina P. said...

I deal with this too.

Just had a 13 year-old boy in here, who lives in a group home. His parents are both addicts and extended family didn't want him. His parents are the State. It's too sad.

only a movie said...

No kidding with the stories that can't be told...
I think I might have to break open the old private blog again to vent.
Care to join me?

xo

mama-face said...

i was talking with a friend today who recently adopted 2 children from foster care. It's a real struggle but she and the little girls are so good for each other.

dreams...expectations...disappointments

hope.

Your last line brought tears to my eyes.

Herding Cats said...

I think this is one of the saddest realities we face when we work in education.

Jaime said...

that must be so hard!

my mom used to be a school counselor. the days she'd have to call DYFS were the worst for her

Deb said...

it's that catch 22 of those who are in your profession need a hard heart, yet those that are drawn to the profession have anything but.

Jan said...

You are one the people I admire most in the world. Did you know that? I guess it doesn't matter, because you are.

Beth, you ARE incredible.

Midwest Mommy said...

This was always the hardest part. Ugh! Hugs.

Ann's Rants said...

I too, am trying to keep the ugliness of the world at bay.

So hard when it stares you in the face.

Hope you have a soft landing.

The Nice One said...

A day doesn't go by at work where I don't say: I wish I could take him home.
There's so much heartbreak and pain that these kids face.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, Beth! So moving and well done. Like 5 blog posts rolled up into one poem. I love how poetry can do that.

Matty said...

I bet they didn't teach this in college when you were getting your education degree.

lakeviewer said...

Yeah, lots of sad, scary stories you take home. People don't know much about what you do.

Sue said...

Simply put, "I LOVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU"! You go through hell and back to save our precious children when no one else give a damn. The world is a better place because of YOU! And never, ever forget that!

Take care, Sue

Brian Miller said...

ah, that sucks. CPS complaints are never fun...and always break my heart.

TechnoBabe said...

I agree with Jan. I know that does not help what you have to see and what you have to participate in. So much hurt and so much of it harms the children. Our arms are not big enough to hold them all. Yet how can you not try?

Fragrant Liar said...

Few things can make this tough girl cry, but kids in trouble can. Kids without many options. Kids who don't deserve what they're getting. Kids getting the innocence punched right out of them.

And knowing there's little to nothing I can do about it. Sorry you have to deal with this so frequently, but I'm guessing they are lucky to have you there. They need advocates.

My name is PJ. said...

Beth, A wise woman suggested I start a private blog for venting when things were hard to handle. I did that and it works pretty well.

You can't keep that stuff inside; it will eat you alive.

blueviolet said...

It really hurts to see it, doesn't it?

idgtm said...

For all of our complaining, you sometimes have to stop and remember that these children are so vulnerable and most times victims of lousy environments.

You do a fantastic job taking care of them.

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear that....that's one of the hardest things about being in education.

Debbie said...

What a sad, sad thing. I admire your compassion through those tough times.

Jeff D'Antonio said...

I understand. I've been there.

Thinking of you, and hoping for better days ahead.

Deb said...

Powerfully sad. Don't know any words which can make this better for you. Sending you warm wishes and prayers for all involved. Take care.

Chapati said...

Oh... hugs...think thats the hardest ever part of your job :(

Hope everything works out well for the kids

carma said...

breaks my heart...

Paula said...

I'll bet Miss Poopy would prove a great tonic. I pray for a change in their parents' hearts and minds.

Mighty M said...

I wish you could too!

bernthis said...

I don't know you do what you do. I worked in an animal shelter once and I felt so awful I wanted to rescue all of them. I couldn't imagine if they were kids how I would have felt

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I can't imagine how heartbreaking it must be to be in your position sometimes. My daughter taught for only a year and came across horrible stories. They broke her heart and mine as she shared them with me.

Hugs to you, Beth.

A Free Man said...

I think that would be the hardest thing about your line of work, wishing that you could do more to help some of your kids. But you've got to remember that by doing the job you do you are helping them.

Michel said...

that's sad man. Hugs!

anymommy said...

I wish you could too. You do a ton for them though, truly.

K13 said...

I can only imagine!! I had these same feelings when I lived in the orphanage in Mexico...wanted to take them ALL home with me.

Did you hear about the Principal & Asst Prin. getting shot up here at an elementary school? I used to work there as part of a class requirement a few years ago. Scary!! I also had a class w/the Principal as she is pursuing her PhD.

Gaston Studio said...

I read so much fiction about kids in homes and/or living on the streets and can only think there's a huge amount of truth in the writing. You are a better person than I, Beth, for dealing with this on a regular basis.