Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Say what?

Things overheard so far this week that have made me smile…
“You always help a lady up off the ground.” Said by a first grader after a student ran into a teacher and knocked her down.
“There are better ways to communicate.  The growling will stop.”  Said by a teacher when two first graders both wanted the last swing available.
“Really, boogers probably aren’t protein.  I don’t care what your mother told you.” Said by a 3rd grader after a fellow student grossed out his table in the lunchroom.
“Come on!  Ms. Teacher just told us to sit on the ass fart.”  Said by a Kindergartener when they were getting ready for an activity outside and had to sit on the asphalt drive.

42 comments:

Everyday Goddess said...

Those are hilarious!

Ass fart. I'll never think of asphalt the same way now.

Matty said...

Only from a child. You should save these and write a book some day.

Herding Cats said...

I love the stuff kids say. It makes my job 100 times more entertaining!

Paula said...

'~)

Jaime said...

too funny.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Ass fart! You just made my night!

Enchanted Oak said...

Oh, Beth, I loved the one that says, "The growling will stop"!!!
It made me think of a poem. I may have to write one called "The growling will stop"! Also am crazy about the sculpture your husband made, even if your nose is smaller and you aren't bolting your lips these days. It's very beautiful.

Jason, as himself said...

The ass fart. Good one!

Masala Chica said...

I am so confused about the booger comment. I will need to re-evaluate our whole family menu now.
lol - great!
Kiran

mo.stoneskin said...

Boogers probably aren’t protein but they might be, we shouldn't rule that out.

Christine Gram said...

De-light-ful!

My name is PJ. said...

Precious and hilarious! This is the kind of thing that balances out all the cruddy stuff you ran into last week, right?

Jan said...

I wish someone would teach Beloved to sit on his ass farts.

Pee. Yew.

only a movie said...

Jan's comment has me smiling. Thanks, dear.

I think I should take notes at school. That might help me get through the dregs of winter.

;-)

Jules said...

Are we allowed to tell kids to sit on their ass farts? Because I will from now on....

And boogers AREN'T really protein. Ask Steam Me Up, Kid. She put them on her wall like all good kids should.

otin said...

I sit on ass farts all the time! LOL! I would not want to stink up the living room!

Brian Miller said...

lol. where am i supposed to sit? working with a growler right now...

Gaston Studio said...

Some really smart and some really funny kids. Love this!

Michele R said...

These are priceless!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Sitting on ass farts is just common sense.

Love these gems Beth.

TechnoBabe said...

Eww, protein boogers!!

Ass fart. I want to remember this one. I can use it in a post some time. With your permission of course.

I so love it when you share the words out of the little kidlings!

Captain Dumbass said...

Hmm, I wonder what booger are? Definitely not protein.

gayle said...

I love these!! Really wish that I had saved all the funny ones I have heard over the years!!

AmyLK said...

The last one is hillarious! There is no way I could have not laughed!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

"You always help a lady up?"
How adorable is that??

idgtm said...

Just another day in the salt mines.

Stop growling....I'm definately using that on my own kids.

Teri said...

Those are great - the last 2 are the best!!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

wish the dogs could be taught to sit on their ass farts .......

carma said...

the ass fart tidbit reminds me of when my son first saw the stool softener commercial and was wondering where the stool was :D

ArtSnark said...

too funny! Now why is it that the same kids that wont touch a green vegetable will eat green stuff from their nose?

Deb said...

that last one is hilarious, but "the growling will stop" has to be my favorite. it's applicable to a whole host of people (and pets) in my house. my new phrase.

suzicate said...

Ass fart...I just snorted my coffee!!!

Mrsbear said...

Is that why it's so stinky when the repave the roads? Ass farts! That's great.

Kulio said...

hahaha, ah the wealth of stories we get from children. Lucky you to collect them first-hand!

Chief said...

I so thought of you this week! and you what I overheard posts.

I had a sweet autistic girl get into big trouble for biting one of our aides. When I sat down with her to discuss it she said.

"MRs. H? I AM BEYOND FURIOUS! at you!

Im all, for what ashleigh... what did I do?

and she put her hands on her hips and told me she was beyond furious because I snuck up behind her and cought her biting our aide.

hahahha

like the aide wouldnt have told me!

Joanna Jenkins said...

"...Teacher just told us to sit on the ass fart...." Oh good lord! I will be laughing about that ll night. What a hoot.

Thanks for sharing. These totally cracked me up.

Have a great weekend,
jj

Michel said...

omg that is HILARIOUS! Except for that part about the boogers. That is downright disgusting.

Thank you for reminding me I cannot be a teacher. I've got a weak stomach!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I love quotes from children. They are a never-ending source of entertainment.

Anonymous said...

Opulently I agree but I dream the post should acquire more info then it has.

lakeviewer said...

Save these nuggets of wee wisdom; just the stuff to season our dreary days.

Fragrant Liar said...

Ass fart??? Too stinkin' funny.

Candice said...

Boogers aren't protein. Ha!! Love that.