Friday, August 28, 2009

And why would you want me to do that?

As Mr. School Stinks was sitting at the lunch table with the other first graders, he suddenly sneezed so forcefully, we had to replace two of the meals for the unlucky students showered sitting across from him.

After the hysteria had died down, I gently reminded Mr. School Stinks to use his hands or the crook of his arm the next time he felt a sneeze coming. Mr. School Stinks gave me one of his infamous puppy dog head tilted confused looks.

Me (trying to explain): "If you cover your nose and mouth, all that stuff won't blow everywhere."

Mr. School Stinks (who earned that name for a reason): "But then my arm will get all wet." Bada bing!

I honestly didn't know what else to say.

34 comments:

otin said...

It is great when you have to teach kids stuff that their parents should have already done!!!!

Brian Miller said...

ha. that is amazing! yeah the rents probably should have taught it but they were probably too busy running him to soccer practice, t ball, karate, swim lessons...sorry, i almost fell into a rant. might i suggest a tissue? a napkin? lol.

Kristina P. said...

Wow.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

You might think that's just common courtesy, but it's snot.

Sorry, I had to do that.

Maybe he should be forced to wear a motorcycle helmet with plexiglass shield to lunch?

Beth said...

Otin - Many of our children come to school without basic manners. I used to ask "Were you raised in a barn?" Now I'm afraid of the answer.

Brian - Exactly! This little guy always has new clothes and talks about all his electronic games at home. Sneezing appropriately must not have been important to the parents.

Kristina - Don't you hope he learns before he is sitting across from you one day?

Chris - Snot! Good one. The helmet idea is fantastic. I may just have to take one to the lunchroom now.

Jan said...

You know how they have those plastic "sneeze shields" at salad bars?

Too bad they don't come installed at school lunch tables.

Chapati said...

Oh dearie me. Is that why there has been a sudden influx of posters around our office teaching us how to sneeze then!?

Nothing to do with swine flu, everything to do with a dawning realisation that people have no idea?

only a movie said...

What? School doesn't stink?

Always into the elbow now that H1N1 is coming.

darsden said...

LOL ...bada bing gotta luv them kids ;-)

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Very cute!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Very cute!

TechnoBabe said...

Sadly lacking hygiene examples at home. You are doing all you can to teach kids about preventing the spread of germs as well as some manners. Like Otin said, what they should be taught at home.

A Mom on Spin said...

And the kids sitting with him started pelting him with hot dogs. . .

The end.

Kulio said...

logic!!

Chief said...

Or you could have let the kid's lunch he ruined pull his pants down and pee in School Stinks lunch?

Mango Girl said...

I know for a fact I would be stoned to death if I were a teacher and had to deal with this crap.

The good news? The children would survive the massacre...the parents? Not so lucky. Stupid asses.

HeatherPride said...

Ugh, I hope he gets that under control before the old swine flu comes knocking on the school doors. We just got a note today that several students are sick with it in our school district!

Michele said...

I really feel for you because his parents are.ah.....idiots? Why are you obligated to teach these kids the basics of human hygiene? Oh right, their parents don't want to. These are probably the same ones who don't want sex education in school.

anymommy said...

I am so grossed out I can't even think of a comment. Kids are nasty. I include my own kids in that statement.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Someone has not taught him mindfulness. And by someone I do not mean the school.

The Things We Carried said...

I have been there, sister! You are sooo not alone!

Michel said...

Ewweee! you are soooo lucky I do not go to your school - not only because I am like 30 years older than they are -- but because I would have throw up all over the lunch table after that.

I don't know how you cope.

Michel said...

Someone should really invent a martini juice box for teachers.

LucyCooper said...

When do boys learn that snot is actually gross? One of the things that makes me go straight up and turn left is when I see my son LICKING snot off his upper lip, like his tongue is a little windshield wiper. AAGGHH.
And yeah, let me know when the martini Juice boxes hit the shelves. Honestly, Michel, I think you've got a really clever marketing idea there. Jump on it!

Jaime said...

that's funny - in a really disgusting type of way.

Gaston Studio said...

It just baffles me that kids aren't taught basic hygiene at home. What are these parents doing while their kids are blowing muscus all over other people? I just don't get it.

dizzblnd said...

man in training! Sheesh no wonder everyone is sick all the time. God forbid their arm gets wet!

Jules said...

Gross! And this is why I hate working with some of the people I do....

Jules said...

Oh wait. Was that a kid or a teacher????

Sometimes it's hard to tell. :)

bernthis said...

tell the kid then he should bring an extra shirt or two to school everyday

Amy said...

I left you something on my blog today... Have a great Saturday...

Beth said...

Chapati - Yep! Trying to spread the message and not the flu.

Erin - I think the elbow sneeze is brilliant. I hope whoever invented it was compensated.

darsden - The kids crack me up every day!

Nancy - Thanks! Thanks!

TechnoBabe - Too bad hygiene skills and manners aren't on the test. Those are the skills that will make or break them faster than the intellect part.

Mom on Spin - Actually, it was chicken nugget day...

Kulio - He was logical!

Chief - Now that is the thought that will stay with me if he does it again.

Mango Girl - I have far more patience for children than I do for adults.

Heather - We've had several kids out with the flu - but no confirmed cases of H1N1 at my school yet. I have a feeling it is going to be a rough winter.

Michele - True!

anymommy - Snot grosses me out as much as vomit. And poop.

Pseudo - You are right!

The Things We Carried - But I bet your children know how to sneeze correctly.

Michel - I'd love for you to be a student at my school. I have just the teacher for you! But you better invent those martini juice boxes for her first.

Lucy - You mean boys actually do learn that snot isn't gross?

Jaime - I laughed, too.

Jane - The parents are probably drinking martinis NOT in a juice box...

dizzblnd - Good point!

Jules - I'm often confused myself.

bernthis - Good idea! We do tell Ms. Poopsalot to bring extra pants. Why not have extra shirts?

Amy - Thanks! I love surprises!

Southern Drawl said...

I think I know his mom!!!

Mrs. "I sent my child to school today with a 102 degree fever after being in the ER till 3 am the day before yesterday with the flu or was it strep throat?" !!!???

I wanted to say..."Seriously, seriously????"

Thank you for replacing the other kids meals.

Watch out, Beth, a lot of Flu down here in S.C. Send all the germy ones HOME!

And keep up the good work!!! :)

Hit 40 said...

Exhausting that we need not only to teach them the required state/ national standards but...

also standard parenting/social lessons. Even grosser...

day care workers usually end up potty training most of the kids. The parents don't bother anymore. Ask some one who works in a day care. You would just be amazed the stories that they can tell.