Mom: “I’ve ordered something for you and Mr. Strong. You are going to LOVE it.”
Me: “Cool. What is it?”
Mom: “It’s a magic bullet.” OMG! Why would she do this? We barely even talked about the birds and the bees when I was growing up… It was more comfortable to ask my friend’s mother to help me buy the monthly necessities.
Me: “Uh… Mom? Why?” What do I say? This is so embarrassing!
Mom: “Because I knew you’d love it. And it has all kinds of attachments.” Holy carp! I can’t stand the visual of my puritanical mother shopping in one of *those* stores…and attachments?! What the heck?
Me: “I’m not sure we need one.” Really, I can’t accept a gift like this from my MOTHER.
Mom: “Your step-dad loves when I get this out because he knows he is getting a treat.” Agh! Lalalalalalalalala…
A couple of days later, the mailman brought my new surprise.
For some strange reason, I blush every time I make a smoothie.